Imagine you’ve had a relationship with him for six months. You have been to the cinema together, have seen the whole second season of ‘You’ and have already eaten a lot in his favorite restaurant. But you haven’t met any of his real friends, let alone family. Does it sound familiar? Then we regret to inform you that you’ve been the victim of stashing.
But what exactly is stashing?
In a shotshell stashing simply means hiding. This happens when a person in a relationship makes the conscious decision to protect the other person from his or her inner circle. This often occurs not only in real life but also on social media. Stashing is, therefore, not only downright rude, but it is also excruciating.
Great, my love is playing hide-and-seek with me. Why is this happening?
According to a marriage and relationship therapist, there are three possible reasons. Your sweetheart is hiding from the outside world because they:
1) are embarrassed by their family or do not have a good relationship with them,
2) do not see a serious future with you or
3) have another relationship at the same time.
None – we repeat, none – of these reasons (or others) are good enough as an excuse. In a relationship, you have to be open and honest with each other. Excellent communication is the basis of a good relationship.
I know my love hides me, how do I start about that?
Ask them why you haven’t met anyone significant in their lives. Be firm and don’t stop until you have an answer. The conversation can bring you closer together because of some shared vulnerabilities.
Perhaps the so-called hider has a logical explanation for his or her behavior. Don’t be over-optimistic, and it can also go in the opposite direction. And if they pretend their nose is bleeding, it’s a form of manipulation.
A caring partner doesn’t want you to feel neglected. If they really have a good reason to hide, such as a family matter, they will be open to the conversation and interested in moving on. If not, it’s time to take another critical look at your relationship.