Strategies on how to keep cool in conflicts at work

Conflicts at work are not uncommon, and in such situations, it is essential to maintain composure. At least in order not to spoil relations with colleagues and superiors, not to question your professionalism, and not to make mistakes that you will regret in the future. Here are some effective strategies that will help you stay in control.

9 strategies on how to keep cool in conflicts at work

1. Focus on facts, not emotions

In conflict, it’s easiest to get emotional, especially in situations where someone unfairly accuses you of something, misjudges your actions, or simply criticizes you. But if you let your feelings run wild, you risk making the situation worse and coming out of it a loser. In addition, an emotional reaction at work can lead to the destruction of your professional reputation.

Try to focus not on how you feel but on what happened—on the facts. Analyze what you have done, think about what the consequences of your further words might be, and find convincing arguments to respond to your interlocutor. When you focus on the facts, it becomes easier for you to stay calm and turn the dialogue into a constructive one.

2. Take a break before answering

When you find yourself in a situation where the other person is trying to provoke or criticize you, you want to respond instantly to the negative. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. And, of course, you vent your emotions. To restrain yourself and maintain your composure, you need to choose another strategy — to take pauses before answering.

Take a deep breath, mentally count to ten, and think about what you’re going to say. The main thing is not to rush to voice what you want. A pause will allow you to calm down and formulate your answer more effectively, making it sound more constructive.

3. Listen actively to understand the person

Most conflicts arise from misunderstandings. Therefore, before you defend yourself or attack a person, try to just listen to what he is trying to convey to you. Shift the focus to what he’s saying and wait to respond. You’ll always have time to go on the offensive or make a caustic remark. Try to ask clarifying questions to make sure that you have understood the above correctly.

Not everyone can convey their message the first time clearly — keep this in mind. Before making any conclusions and determining the further strategy of negotiations, paraphrase the words of the interlocutor and clarify whether he meant it. This approach will help defuse the situation and find common ground.

4. Use “I-sayings”

Instead of resorting to accusations or criticism of the other person, try to convey your emotions and needs differently. The best way would be to use “self-statements,” that is, shifting the focus from a negative assessment of a person’s words and actions to their feelings.

This approach does not sound like an accusation and reduces the likelihood that the interlocutor will aggressively defend himself. Moreover, you will become calmer yourself when conflicts arise. This is a great way to learn how to remain calm in even the most stressful situations.

5. Use humor to lighten the mood

You need to be especially careful here. Appropriate humor can help defuse a tense atmosphere, reduce stress levels, and even mitigate conflict. However, it is important to be careful — to understand which topics are not worth joking about, do not try to make fun of the interlocutor himself, avoid sarcasm, and so on. The best weapon in conflict is self—irony. Using it can demonstrate that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are willing to admit your mistakes.

6. Know your triggers

You must determine in advance which situations, words, or actions cause you to have a strong emotional reaction. Knowing your triggers, you can prepare for them in advance and develop strategies to help you stay calm and maintain composure. It doesn’t matter if a person is trying to hurt you on purpose or makes you angry and annoyed by accident; the responsibility for your reactions lies with you. Therefore, it is helpful to know how to react in a given situation so as not to jeopardize your reputation.

7. Look for the root of the problem, not the culprits

Instead of focusing on finding the culprit, try to find the root of the problem. This way, you can build a constructive dialogue with your interlocutor and come to a common decision. Try to distance yourself from the accusations, reduce the emotional intensity, and think about what exactly led you to the conflict. As soon as you switch to finding solutions that will help fix the situation, your interaction will stop being so stressful. Moreover, together, you can effectively eliminate the root cause of the conflict.

8. Control your body language

To maintain your outward composure, you need to control your body language. Crossing your arms, frowning, rolling your eyes — all these actions will not go unnoticed by the interlocutor and will be able to tell you how you feel, even more than your words. Moreover, such body signals are often read by others as hostility and can only exacerbate the conflict.

Try to maintain an open and neutral posture: look the person in the eye, nod to show that you are listening to them, and avoid aggressive gestures. A relaxed and friendly posture will also help reduce tension for yourself, thereby making the discussion of the problem constructive.

9. Set boundaries and stick to them

It is essential to clearly define your boundaries and ensure that others do not violate them. This applies not only to your personal space or specific topics in conversation but also to professional responsibilities, work communication style, and other aspects of your life. You should not be silent for a long time if something does not suit you: with periodic suppression of emotions, it will become difficult for you to restrain yourself and hold your face.

If something doesn’t suit you, tell the person directly about it and do it right away. Be confident but not aggressive; avoid passive aggression, and refrain from sharing your dissatisfaction with others. It is advisable to talk to a person one-on-one so as not to expose oneself in a negative light in front of colleagues or superiors. This way, you will increase the chances of resolving the conflict quickly and without incident.