Resentment is undoubtedly an emotion with a negative connotation, but you can “make friends” with it, especially if you do not ignore but find the reasons and get rid of them.
Afrinik has compiled the most valuable components of resentment, and we hope that our article will save you from the negative consequences of this feeling. We do not urge you to be offended all the time; we remind you that sometimes even the most negative emotions can help in overcoming life’s obstacles.
1. Resentment is a signal that something is wrong in the relationship
Usually, we take offense at the people closest to us. And if a person says that he does not feel resentment at all, then either he is an enlightened guru or has a block on trusting relationships. And if you think that you have ceased to feel resentment towards loved ones, this can be a wake-up call.
If you notice that either you or your partner constantly began to experience this feeling in a relationship, then most likely, the problem is somewhere deeper. We may react violently to some minor flaws (a dirty plate on the table or dinner not prepared on time), but the root of the problem will be the exact – unmet expectations. And it is with this, we need to work, instead of once again making a scandal over the scattered socks.
2. Resentment helps to deal with the situation
This point flows smoothly from the previous one. You noticed that you began to take offense often and realized that something was wrong. We begin to understand the situation. What caused you this reaction? Why are you offended? Maybe the person did not want to hurt you, and you “took the fire on yourself”? In any case, to constructively deal with the resentment is to make your life much easier; the main thing is, to be honest with yourself.
3. Resentment can help you get rid of toxic relationships
There are many ways to get out of resentment. But what if you don’t need to? Sometimes, instead of analyzing the sources of bitterness in a relationship, it’s easier to end the relationship. You need to suffer and take offense, grow above yourself, look for ways to overcome problems together with your partner. If your needs are constantly ignored, and you are permanently resentful, you need to get rid of such relationships before they finally destroy your self-esteem.
4. Avoid resentment by express your desires even at work
An average person doesn’t like being in negative emotions. In order to avoid resentment, we begin to think about “preventive measures. “For example, we precisely discuss what we want to get in the end, express our thoughts more clearly to eliminate misunderstandings, etc. Such avoidance of resentment is constructive and relieves us of unnecessary worries.
Sometimes it can be difficult for us to fight back at work, and it is the resentment that gives us the strength to put in the place of a person who has crossed our boundaries. Most importantly, express your arguments, not in anger, but calm down. If we feel offended and understand that the accusations are unfair, this is a signal that our opinion is not taken into account. We must put the person in his place as correctly as possible.
5. Resentment teaches us forgiveness
The most important thing that resentment gives us is forgiveness. We will not get away from living even negative emotions, so the only thing we can do about it is to understand why they arise and forgive the offender. Of course, getting over serious grievances is quite tricky, but as Nelson Mandela said, “Taking offense and resentment is like drinking poison in the hope that it will kill your enemies.”
Remember that we are not offenders sometimes, but we are offended, and to forgive our offenders, it is enough to stand in his place and think why he offended you. Maybe this was not the purpose of his behavior, and if they specifically wanted to offend us, then all the more there is no point in wasting our energy on communicating with such a person. Forgiving and forgetting a conflict situation, we make our lives fuller and more positive.