You are looking for a solid male shoulder; you dream of stopping fighting this world and settling comfortably behind a stone wall. You appreciate the strength of character, unshakable will, and an innate sense of responsibility. But this is all in theory, but in practice, you are bogged down in a relationship with an infantile man.
You take care of him, reprimand him for his mistakes, you cannot trust anything seriously, so you do everything yourself. Inside you, there is a feeling of love, which can no longer be distinguished from the mother’s. You also have a faint ray of hope inside you, which for some reason, you take for the confidence that your man will soon grow up and everything will magically change.
Of course, everything can change, but not by itself. A man will not become mature overnight, will not wake up suddenly in the morning, and decide that it is time to take responsibility for himself. What for? He is already comfortable and joyful. He felt so good and comfortable in the role of a son with his mother. They loved him, took care of him, sometimes scolded him, but on business. This is his comfort zone, which you took on yourself so that your boy does not cry. In essence, nothing has changed for him, so there is no need for him to grow up.
You have two options for the development of events: leave or stay
If he never grows up, then why do you need such a man? You must leave – you will decisively think. You will find yourself a mature man who will protect you from all adversity and become your reliable support. No, you won’t. On a subconscious level, you gravitate towards the role of a mother.
Your mind understands that the mother-son relationship model is not normal and acceptable for you, but the subconscious mind chooses the same type of male-son. Everything is repeated with minor amendments to the plot.
Thus, you fall into the trap of an internal conflict; without resolving it, you risk stepping on the same rake again and again. This is hard psychological work on oneself, but it is worth it. By developing a pleasant personality and gaining self-confidence, you can build the relationship you dream of. First, you have to understand yourself.
If you decide to stay, then you will have to work not only on yourself but also on the relationship.
You have a long way to go to turn your relationship into a partnership. You will have to learn to trust your man, respect him, allow him to make, albeit incorrect but independent decisions, shift some of the responsibility onto his still fragile shoulders. You will have to be patient, but love helps to overcome any difficulties.