What should I do? My husband doesn’t help me with anything
Housework is a part of everyday life that is difficult to do if you do it entirely alone. Especially if a career or caring for children takes time and effort. Many couples do not share household responsibilities; equally, most of them fall on women by default. But you can deal with this – in this article, we will give 5 things to do if your husband doesn’t help you with anything.
5 things to do if your husband doesn’t help you with anything
1. Express gratitude and correctly point out mistakes
Some partners flatly refuse to do chores because they have faced excessive criticism about it. This could happen both in the parental family and in your relationship. Agree, it is unpleasant for any person when he receives not gratitude for the work done, but a negative comment, criticism, or abuse.
When receiving a reward, a person may want to do more so that it happens again. Therefore, say “thank you” more often for washing dishes, cleaning, and things folded by a partner after drying. In addition, gratitude brings each other closer and makes you smile even on the most difficult and busy days. Therefore, it is important to learn to thank your husband even for the little things that you consider every day and quite ordinary.
It is also important to correctly point out mistakes so as not to discourage the husband from doing something around the house. When we say that he does everything wrong, for a long time, or cannot cope with the task, we take away his motivation. Point out the mistake calmly and reassuringly so that it doesn’t feel like a “failure” but something that can be fixed or learned to do better. To get the latest stories, install our app here
For example, if your husband always puts the dishes in the cupboard so that it is inconvenient to get them out, invite him to lay them out together and remember how to do it. And if he didn’t clean well, calmly ask him to do it again to remove all the dust accurately.
2. Discuss with him the distribution of responsibilities
Many of us grew up surrounded by people with a rather stereotypical view of everyday life, where a man brings income to the family and a woman takes care of the children and the house. When women work and get tired no less than men, such views should be reconsidered in modern realities. Perhaps they are why your husband refuses to help you with the housework.
Discuss with him how your families coped with household chores and how you see the distribution of household work between you. Engage him in a conversation where everyone can express their thoughts on the matter. Together, develop a strategy and rules that you will adhere to. Be sure to express your feelings: how it can make you happier, relieve additional stress, free up additional time for activities with children or relaxation together.
3. Divide the responsibilities and fix it
When it comes to delimiting different household chores and rules, it’s important to consider all aspects of the job.
For example, if you both work outside the home, but one works full-time and the other returns early, then the other should take care of priority chores like cooking dinner. Those who are less loaded at work, quite rightly, can take on a little more responsibilities. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Get ready to meet your partner’s resistance and try to tune in to a dialogue, not an argument. Try to be patient with him during this process and explain your position without being aggressive or overly emotional. Get your point across and consider what he says.
But don’t back down and abandon the idea of sharing responsibilities just because your husband says no. You may have to talk with him several times, but it is necessary to find common ground and compromise.
4. Stop taking any initiative
In some cases, we do not allow the partner to take the initiative, putting household chores on our shoulders, refusing offers of help, and investing more in the relationship than the partner.
Set your partner up for interest and initiative in household chores. For example, ask him to cook dinner on certain days of the week when you finish work later. Or help you with the distribution of things in the closet, as he likes, to get rid of the mess.
And in a situation where you plan to invite guests, discuss what needs to be improved in the home environment, and do not immediately start cleaning. Perhaps the partner will offer his help, which should not be refused. Allow him to participate in the process and help you even in small things.
5. Start a strike
If talking and persuading do not help, then a strike is a cardinal way to solve the problem. It is quite effective, especially in cases where the partner does not realize how much effort and time it takes to take care of the house and what will happen if you stop doing it. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Yes, there is a risk that such extreme measures could be bad for your relationship. If you still have to resort to it, then it may be worth the risk. His reaction to this situation may well determine the further course of your relationship: either he will understand how much you have to do on an ongoing basis and take a step forward, or he will simply be forced to serve himself, whether he wants it or not.