We can complain about life if we feel it is unfair. It seems to us that others undeservedly receive more than we do. Or they are the cause of our failures. Feeling unfair is hard to live with, so we’ve put together some tips to help you deal with it.
6 things to do when life seems unfair
1. Act rationally, not out of resentment
Agree; sometimes, you want to make a caustic comment about a colleague’s success if he got the promotion, not you, especially if you wanted it and put a lot of effort and energy into your work.
However, before you give vent to emotions and say something unpleasant, think about where it will lead. Only to the negative: the relationship with a colleague will deteriorate, as will the opinion of the employees who hear it.
It is very important to think before doing something about what you think is unfair. Emotional and thoughtless actions only worsen the situation. And when we calm down, we can make a more reasonable and correct decision. Take a few deep breaths, analyze everything to the smallest detail, and only then act.
2. Pay attention to what you can take control
We cannot always control the actions of other people. Because of this, their actions or success seem unfair to us. The only thing we can control is our emotions and reactions.
Think about what you can do right now to feel better. Do not forget about the rationality of thinking, which we wrote about above.
If a toxic friend is the cause of the feeling of injustice, minimize communication with the person. Start saving money from your paycheck if it seems unfair to you that other people’s clothes are better than yours. Then spend them on a new wardrobe. Set a goal for yourself and think about how to achieve it, instead of just complaining about the lack of justice.
Also, learn to accept as fact and experience, not personal defeat, what you cannot control. Yes, we can be fired from a job, but this is a chance to find a new one. People may be rude to us, but we can learn to forgive them for our own well-being. Circumstances may not be fair, but we can find things we can control.
3. Focus on what you have, not what you lack
The more we think about what we lack, the less we notice what we already have. It seems unfair to us that the lives of others are better than ours. However, often we do not notice our happiness.
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Look for the positive moments every day and learn to be sincerely grateful for them. Say “thank you” for having a job, housing, partner, clothes in the wardrobe, cookies on the table. Many people would be happy to have what you have. Be thankful that a stranger complimented you, passed a difficult level in a game, or drank a cup of your favorite coffee.
The more often we focus on what we have, set goals, and not just complain about the injustice of life, the easier we get through difficult times and achieve our goals. You can even write down the things you are grateful for in your life and refer to the list when you feel bad.
4. Recognize that failures happen and can lead to more than just negativity
Not always failures lead to negative. In most cases, they are the impetus to change life for the better. For example, having lost a job, we can get another job, which will be more highly paid and interesting. The former partner will be replaced by someone who truly appreciates and loves us.
Life is unpredictable, so you should not take failures as a failure for which you need to blame yourself. You need to take them as experience and an opportunity to grow. The fear of failure can also be dealt with if it prevents you from living and looking at the world optimistically. It is better to spend time setting goals and a plan to achieve them than complaining that life is not fair.
5. Compare your expectations and resources
If you are experiencing uncertainty and feel that life is unfair, find what is preventing you from achieving what you want.
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Sometimes high expectations lead to feelings of injustice. We want to achieve everything at once, but at the same time, there are not enough resources. It is impossible to buy an apartment if you do not save money. Or, for example, dance like a pro if you have never done it before. Everything must be achieved gradually. It is worth reducing expectations to those you can realize based on the available resources. Then muster up the courage and take the next step.
6. Find support
Talking to someone you trust can help you deal with feelings of injustice. It is important that this person can listen to you and try to understand. In addition, those around you could have gone through the same experience and supported you.
It can be a partner, a friend, or a psychotherapist – choose the format of support that is right for you. Even chatting on a forum can help you feel better and deal with feelings of injustice.