Everyone, at some point in their lives, and for various causes, experiences unhappiness. This could result from a painful experience, the end of a relationship, unforeseen challenges or failures, or even just a general unhappiness with one’s own life. You can try to keep others from seeing your natural state by acting as though everything is okay with you, but this strategy is only successful in a small percentage of situations. This is due to the unhappy person in you being betrayed by a few of your activities that you consider to be harmless and ordinary and with which you want to protect yourself. The reason for this is that you are attempting to defend yourself.
1. You are constantly trying to make sense of everything
When you lose something important, suffer a major setback or become disillusioned with yourself and others, you begin to look for meaning in everything you do. To force yourself to perform habitual actions, you must try to justify their necessity to yourself. Of course, in dealing with people around you, you will often speak out about how useless the things they do or worry about are. This will speak about your condition: a happy person tries to worry less about the meaning of his actions. He often does what makes him feel good, brings pleasure, and relieves boredom.
2. You are holding on to your past
If you don’t feel happy in the present, you may be nostalgic for when you were happy. You will constantly remember the past events, compare your present with what it was before, wish to return to some situations or communicate with certain people, and so on. Contrary to what you might expect, thinking about times when you were happy will only make you more depressed. And it will be clear to others that your life at the moment does not arouse your interest since you are constantly comparing it with your past.
3. You don’t trust anyone
If one of your loved ones does not justify your trust, there is a great risk that you will experience difficulties in communicating with others. It may seem that everyone around is dishonest with you, trying to deceive you, making you act in a certain way for their benefit, and laughing at you behind your back. You will stop trusting even those who did not let you down and were always on your side. Such changes in you and your attitude towards other people are always perfectly noticeable to others.
4. You often get into conflicts
A happy person tries to avoid senseless participation in various conflicts and disputes because he does not want to waste time on this. He is quite satisfied with himself and his life and does not try to prove something to anyone. If you consider it your duty to take out aggression on those who do not agree with you in opinion or react to you in a way that you would not like or do not fit into your perfect picture of the world, then most likely, you are an unhappy person. And be sure that it is clearly visible to everyone next to you.
5. You demand that others prove their attitude to you
Faced once with disappointment in a person you highly valued, you will demand from others evidence of their good attitude towards you. You will not calm down until you achieve any words or actions that would speak of what a person is ready for you. You may not see a problem in this, but be sure: such an attitude greatly offends people and only once again emphasizes your inner state.
6. You envy others
But here, it is important to make a reservation that envy can be different: if you are happy for a person and his successes and understand that you would like the same, this is a harmless feeling of envy. Happy people do just that—they are motivated by the accomplishments of others. If you cannot calm down and stop experiencing negative emotions when someone else succeeds, envy destroys you and your good relationships with others. Be sure that other people can see that you are jealous. It is difficult to hide what hurts you; your facial expressions, phrases, and behaviour will reveal you’re true emotions.
7. You deny the value of things that really matter
Having lost what you most loved and cherished, you can begin to deny the value of these important things in a person’s life. For example, if you took friendship very seriously – put the needs of friends first, sacrificed your comfort for the sake of someone else, gave all 100% in communication, and so on. In the end, you were treated ugly; there is a high risk that you will devalue friendly relations.
This is a completely expected reaction. You will do this to reduce the severity of unpleasant emotions and make yourself believe that the loss was not serious and that you have nothing to worry about so much. But these changes in your priorities are always very noticeable to others, and the fact that you are unhappy is especially noticeable when you go into denial of your own values.
8. You focus only on the material goals
Disappointed in something or someone, you can focus on achieving material goals. Instead of investing in any relationship, be it friendship, family or romance, or following your ideals, you will focus on building a career and making money. At the same time, intangible things will cease to interest you: you will consider that they cannot guarantee you a happy future.
9. You can’t stand other people’s faults
You may have faced rejection by a loved one of your shortcomings, statements that hurt you, and disappointment in someone you let too close to you. As a result, because of resentment towards others for not being accepted for who you really are, you will begin to treat other people the same way when you open up. You will stop accepting their shortcomings or closing your eyes to something that somehow does not suit you, and such behaviour will be elevated to an absolute. If someone in communication with you opens up a little and shows his imperfections, it will be difficult for you to force yourself to continue the dialogue as if nothing had happened.
10. You talk about how you can’t control your life
The fact that you are unhappy betrays your position as a victim. You can convince others that you are not in control of your life and that external circumstances constantly prevent you from achieving your goals. You cannot and do not want to change yourself. Because of your prejudices and the fear of taking responsibility and solving the problems that pile on you, you suffer one failure after another. To break the vicious circle, you will need to take control of your emotions and take action if something does not suit you in life.