Manipulators and tyrants always tend to downplay the suffering they bring to their victims – perhaps this is one of those golden rules that every woman in a relationship should understand. Of course, we remember that love is a whole marathon, during which problems, difficulties, and crises await us now and then. And yet crises can be different: it is one thing when you are going through a “grinding,” and quite another – when you feel that you are psychologically, morally, and physically oppressed.
Alas, the truth is, not all relationships need to be cherished. And you certainly shouldn’t be under any illusion if you see the following things happening in your life.
His desires are always higher than yours
In a healthy relationship, compromise always fluctuates in equal proportions. If you realize that you are constantly yielding to his desires and interests in your relationship, then we have bad news for you – you are not in a relationship.
This is not even a partnership or cohabitation – this is voluntary slavery. Of course, no one encourages you to count your every good deed and compare them with his “answers.” Yet, such things are felt on an intuitive level. And don’t ignore them.
His promises are worthless
It is especially true of the infamous promise to change for your sake, for your love. A truly genuine and loving person would not wait for you to pack up and make such a vow. More importantly, he won’t break it once the danger of breaking it has passed.
If a couple’s relationship is really serious, each partner will be prepared to spend months, if not years, overcoming the crisis and improving for the better. If this promise is fully valid until the moment you smile and say, “I forgive you,” it is a clear sign that your partner is not at all afraid of losing you.
He expects unnecessary sacrifices from you
In normal relationships, people tend to have hobbies and interests outside the home. Of course, in love, we all sacrifice something but demanding from a partner that he break up with all his friends and personal activities and narrow his world to your bedroom is at least selfish.
You have to fight for it all the time
Not life, but a liberation operation. Either he will be captured by work, then his overly caring mother. Or even a former lover, with whom he does not stop comparing you. Each time you use all your charm and talents to keep his attention, but in vain.
Well, the bad news is that he doesn’t care about you. Does it make sense to continue to play with one goal?
You are ashamed of his behavior
It may seem like a minor thing, but if you constantly find yourself apologizing to others for your partner’s behavior, it means that others have already noticed something wrong in him. And, even worse, even you understand this (note that this is not about support but about justifying his inappropriate behavior).
It is essential to understand one thing here: he can behave as he pleases as long as you are not ashamed of him. If you blush for him, then, most likely, you just do not fit together.
Your best friends can’t stand him
You can argue with us and say that if friends want you to be happy, they will accept any of your choices. Yes, the phrase “you just envy me” broke more than one strong friendship, and yet we are convinced: best friends always want to see us happy and smiling, and if they take the responsibility of advising you to leave someone, then they are seriously worried about you. And, you know, sometimes it is worth listening to them: after all, you can see better from the outside.
He does not meet halfway
As soon as he hears the phrase “we need to talk,” he runs away from her (and from you) under any pretext or even without it, translates the topic, or ignores it. Sound familiar? Unfortunately, many of us are faced with this. Still, if your relationship really needs work, and he continues to avoid serious conversation by hook or by crook, then most likely, your romance is ordered to live long.
You doubt your decisions
A minute ago, you were one hundred percent confident in your step, but one glance at him – and many hours of meditation dissolve in the air, and you again return to the starting point, at which he is always right, and you are not.
Believe me, the fact that you cannot decide is not always a sign of his irresistibility and charisma. Perhaps you are being manipulated.
Are you afraid of his calls or his appearance?
If you start to feel anxious or even outright fearful when you see him or receive a call from him, this is a very bad sign. In normal relationships in everyday situations, partners, as a rule, are happy to see each other (at most, they are neutral), but fear … At best, this can be explained by the fact that you are at the final stage of a relationship with someone you don’t value too much. And at worst, this person mistreats you.
He raises his hand to you
Remember once and for all: no matter how tired he is at work, how much you pissed him off, or what other fly bit him, violence is abnormal and unnatural, and the famous order “beats means he loves” is a weak attempt by unfortunate women to calm themselves.
Do not be under any illusions: the moment he raised his hand to you is the point when your life no longer makes sense. Practice, unfortunately, shows that the more often a woman forgives a man for assault, the less often he feels guilty for it.
He insults you
If you are used to communicating rudely with each other and everything suits you, you can skip this point. But if he continues to insult you, despite your objections, this is, if you will, the same violence, only verbal. Excuses like “I’m kidding” are also not accepted. If he cannot spark with humor without the help of a sharp word, then what is the point of talking to him at all?
He constantly suspects you
Jealousy is a good feeling but in moderation. Moreover, according to some studies, if your partner constantly suspects you of infidelity, this is most likely how he tries to hide his affair. But even if this is not so, are you sure that you want to make excuses to him for every look thrown in the wrong direction for the rest of your life?
Your self-esteem drops
If before your relationship with him you felt like a queen, and now the thought arises in your head, “who will need me like this … (hereinafter the epithets are fat, scary, stupid, mediocre)”, then perhaps you should “thank” your partner. Love should inspire and give you a sense of your worth, so such a sudden loss of self-confidence is a bad sign.