If your whole relationship lasts a few months at the most, while you’re just enjoying a flash of feelings and assessing common interests, you may be making one of the mistakes below.
You got off to too quick a start
When feelings boil and emotions overwhelm, it’s hard not to succumb to temptation and speed up the stages of a relationship. It seems that your partner is the one and that fate itself brought you together with him.
But do not rush to acquaint the girl with her parents or jump from the candy-bouquet period immediately to the usual everyday life, where the two of you will feel like a long-married couple, except perhaps without a child. All this is not bad, and this awaits you in the future, but after building a strong relationship and not at the stage of acquaintance and looking out.
Getting to know your parents too soon can give your girlfriend (and your family) a reason to think that you are serious about getting married right away. And everyday life in the first months of a relationship will become their killer at all. What girl would like it if, instead of flowers and teddy bears, she received mountains of unwashed dishes and unwashed linen?
You have not come to your senses after a past relationship
There is nothing more stupid than starting to build a relationship when the past experiences have not yet been released. You hurt not only yourself but also your girlfriend, who, by the way, can give all of herself in the hope of your love and support, receiving only coldness in return. Of course, such a relationship is doomed to failure: sooner or later, she will get tired of your longing for the past, and she will leave, leaving you to simmer in your thoughts.
Therefore, we sincerely advise you to first come to your senses and only look for a mate. Until you live the resentment, pain, and other emotions that make you worry, do not try to create something new.
You compare with an ex
“But my ex cooked better,” “my ex dressed more sophisticated,” “my ex was better in bed.” When you hear such words, you want to ask: “Well, if your ex was better at everything, why aren’t you with her?”
Comparing your girlfriend to your ex, wanting to push her to make changes that will benefit you. You are unlikely to achieve change (this way, yeah), but you will see a quick end to your relationship and stories about what kind of person you are.
Girls are different, and the fact that your new lady of the heart is not like your ex should make you happy, not upset. Otherwise, your relationship would be doomed to another failure.
You are chasing the image of the perfect girl
Well, this is the one that cooks deliciously, and cleans up quickly, and loves to wash your clothes, get up at 5 in the morning to cook for you before work, and also loves to fish with you and your friends, does not get jealous, looks feminine and does not spend on herself much money. This, of course, is the dream of almost everyone. Unrealizable.
Think for yourself: some of the above generally contradict each other; much does not exist at all. There are no women who would love to serve you because you are an adult and independent fully. They need to see you as a life partner, not a small child who needs care.
In general, if you are still chasing the image of the ideal girl, stop it. This race is fraught with your future loneliness.
You stop “playing your part” as soon as you start dating
When meeting a girl you like, almost every guy wants to show himself included from the positive side. Like, what a handsome man there I am: restrained, and generous, and very polite, I don’t swear, I’m not jealous, I carry you in my arms. As soon as a girl agrees to become your second half, you give up playing the role of a generous prince and plunge your lady into reality with your head. Not everyone likes it.
After you show your true face, there comes a period of disappointment, which destroys most relationships built on lies. You may realize that you are completely unsuitable for each other and disperse.
You are under pressure
For example, your relationship has passed the milestone of 3 months, and you begin to wonder whether it is worth continuing it or is it better to be “free-floating” again. Six months can also become a kind of breakup trigger if you attach too much importance to time, and you have a choice – to move on to the next stage of the relationship or end it.
In general, partners often prefer to disperse, even if everything is good with them, being afraid of something new (whether it be the decision to live together or make an offer).
Both of you are afraid to fight
Worse than a couple who constantly quarrel for any reason, only a couple does not quarrel even when the reason is serious enough. This is due to the fear of quarrels. If there are conflicts, but they are not resolved, all negativity and all disagreement accumulate inside your couple, preventing you from living comfortably in the first place. Another reason is the fear that one of the partners will not endure the quarrels and leave the other.
You need to understand that you will not achieve mutual understanding by smoothing out conflict situations and avoiding any manifestations of negative feelings. Sometimes it is simply necessary to quarrel to let off steam, continue living a measured life, and not sit as if on a powder keg.
You are overly controlling and jealous of the girl
Relationships are not a reason to protect each other from communicating with everyone except the other half. This relationship ends pretty quickly. Both you and your girlfriend need rest in the company of family and friends. So curb your enthusiasm and don’t try to play the role of a tyrant controlling her every move. He wants to be with friends – even if he wants to visit relatives – this is wonderful.
You do not need to be together 24/7, and even more so – to attend all the events together to which one of you was invited. Relationships are freedom and trust, and if this is not the case, do not be surprised at the imminent breakup.
You are not sure of yourself
Simply put, this is the very situation where a guy cannot decide what he needs from life – whether he wants to build a relationship and a family in the future or wants to make a career.
A person who does not set himself any goals and cannot clearly say what he wants in the future is an unenviable candidate in the eyes of a girl. Yes, for some time (perhaps several months or at most a year), you will be drawn to each other by love, but as soon as it passes, the relationship will end.
It is important for a girl that the relationship is stable – so that she knows that tomorrow she will wake up in the same bed with a person who will be her support. If she does not have such a feeling with you, then, alas, she will not stay with you.