How to cope: Steps for when life seems unbearable

If you’ve ever sat in a car in the parking lot in front of a store, staring at a to—do list, and felt like this list was mocking you, know that this is not your “personal weakness,” but the overexertion experienced by millions of people around the world. And it’s okay to sometimes not cope, feel overwhelmed, or get stuck.

However, it’s important what steps you take to regain your footing. Below are seven ways that do not magically remove the problem, but help reduce the discomfort of feeling that life seems unbearable.

7 ways to cope when life seems unbearable

1. Stop trying to figure everything out at once

The main trap of overload is that your brain starts demanding that you solve everything at once. But the more you try to fix your whole life, the more you get stuck. One of the most effective ways to deal with the feeling that your existence is unbearable is to write down everything that is spinning in your head.

Transferring the flow of thoughts to paper or notes on your phone is like uploading extra files to an external drive: RAM space is freed up, and the brain stops making noise. You fix problems, but you don’t have to grab onto everything, and this relieves the pressure associated with the need to solve everything at once. You see what tasks you have to complete, you can prioritize them and focus on the next step.

2. Choose one small action

In moments of overload, the brain likes to dramatize — because of this, we think that if we don’t do something right now, everything will collapse. This mindset is paralyzing, and as a result, you sit, stare at a mountain of tasks, and don’t move at all. The principle of “five minutes” helps here. Ask yourself: what is the smallest action I can do in five minutes with almost no effort?

You can take out the trash, remove one plate from the sink, answer one letter that has been bothering your eyes for a week, or remove one disturbing object from the floor. It may look ridiculously insignificant, but five minutes of action is always better than two hours of self-flagellation for inaction. A tiny step starts a movement, and often the next one comes after it.

3. Turn on the body through sensations

Anxiety does an insidious thing — it makes you forget about your body. All the attention goes into thoughts that frighten, and it seems that there is no way out. Logic and reasoning are powerless here, so it is important to get yourself back in shape through sensory grounding. This is not a “spiritual practice”, but a simple physiological trick — when you connect the senses, the nervous system receives a signal that you are safe, and anxiety decreases.

Try taking a cool or contrasting shower, drinking a glass of cold water in slow sips, lighting a candle and inhaling its fragrance, squeezing an ice cube in your palm, stroking a cat or dog, paying attention to the sensations. Such actions bring attention back to the body and remind you: right now, you are not being chased by a tiger, but the danger is only in your thoughts. This helps to get rid of the problem, but reduces the severity of emotions and regains control.

4. Arrange a ten-minute reboot without a phone

The modern world keeps us on a short leash of notifications — the phone is constantly beeping, flashing, demanding attention. When the overload is already severe, the screen only adds to the chaos in your head. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. Do the opposite: put your phone away and give yourself ten minutes without participation.

You can just sit outside, watching the sky, slowly wash the dishes, color the picture by numbers, lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling, or listen to the silence. The main goal of the practice is not productivity, but rest for the brain and a short reboot. Sometimes ten minutes of silence is enough to feel that breathing has become easier and to move on again.

5. Check the internal dialogue

When you’re overwhelmed, your inner voice rarely supports you—more often it turns into a harsh critic who says you’re weak, lazy, a loser, and so on. Such a dialogue does not help to get together and get on with life, because this is not motivation, but internal bullying. The secret is to change the tone of the conversation with yourself.

Imagine that your friend is nearby, who is in the same state: tired, confused, and sad. You wouldn’t have told him he was worthless, but you would have supported him. You can treat yourself the same way. Of course, this won’t completely remove the overload, but it will help ease the pain of self-criticism.

6. Keep in touch with other people

Overload often makes you isolate yourself even from those closest to you. It seems like you shouldn’t bother anyone because you can handle the problems yourself, but it’s at times like this that connecting with people becomes a mainstay.

It’s not about long conversations and hard confessions — sometimes it’s enough to write a short message to a friend, call your parents and say a few words, go for a walk with someone, or just spend time with someone you trust. Even small contacts bring back a sense of reality and reduce the feeling of isolation. The presence of other people around you reminds you that life goes on, even if some aspects of it seem unbearable.

7. Switch to the “power saving mode”

Phones can turn on power saving mode when the charge drops, and people should learn how to do it too. On days when life seems unbearable, you don’t have to demand the most from yourself. Choose simple food that is easy to prepare, comfortable clothes, and put only the most necessary items on your to-do list.

Give up for a while on the idea that you need to be productive at all costs. It’s important to understand that you don’t need to earn a vacation. Sometimes the right thing to do is to reduce the load and let the body and brain recover, rather than work until you drop, promising yourself to relax sometime later.