Sometimes we have to associate with toxic people because they are our family members. They can be disrespectful to us and cause enough pain that we don’t want to interact with them.
Of course, it is not necessary to maintain relationships with those who hurt us. But if you can’t stop it, use the tips in this article to minimize stress and set boundaries in communication with such family members.
1. Be firm in your point of view
Stand firm and don’t back down on issues that matter to you. If you feel like giving up and backing down just because your family member is older, remind yourself that you, too, are an adult. And that your decisions and principles are balanced and thoughtful enough not to be subject to discussion and adjustment by the people around you. To get the latest stories, install our app here
For example, you think that small children of your relatives should not be allowed into your room. Because there are many things in it that they can break, or you need no one to invade your personal space.
Do not give in to provocations and do not take to heart their condemnation, which often manifests itself in lectures that it is uncivilized to do this or that you have a difficult character. Argue your position. And if that doesn’t work, lock the room or talk to the kids yourself.
2. Be clear about your boundaries
Agree, it’s unpleasant if one of the family members decided to come to you while you had plans. There are two options for solving this problem: indicate that the time for receiving guests is inappropriate, or cancel all your affairs in favour of them. Of course, there are times when you can postpone your plans, but if this happens periodically, it’s time to set boundaries in the relationship.
This can be difficult because disrespectful relatives may see such behaviour as a personal affront. Therefore, you need to clearly and reasonably state what you want to convey to them. You can enlist the support of the partner with whom you live if the situation concerns both of you and share information together. To get the latest stories, install our app here
It is important not to succumb to possible manipulations by them and stand firm.
3. Limit communication
If you can not refuse to communicate with disrespectful relatives, you need to limit it. They can hurt us for various reasons, but it is not worth enduring it all the time to preserve our own health.
For example, if you understand that they are misbehaving at your place, hold joint events in a cafe or in nature. Or offer to meet on their territory. To get the latest stories, install our app here
Limit the number of calls they receive as well: for example, set up an answering machine while you’re at work, or avoid long conversations, citing business. You can also safely refuse events you do not consider important, where they will also be present.
4. Spend time with them only in the presence of those who will support you
Often disrespectful family members become disrespectful when they are alone with us. In the presence of other people, they may want to maintain their positive appearance and appear better than they are.
So don’t be alone with them if that’s the case. For example, come to meetings with them with a partner or other family members who are authoritative enough so that relatives do not allow themselves too much in your address.
5. Don’t ask for anything and don’t do any favours
When dealing with toxic family members, keeping them at arm’s length is important. Therefore, you should not borrow money from them or ask for any services. This can become an occasion for manipulation or reminders of your position dependent on them. Also, do not accept generous gifts from them.
The same is the case with lending money to relatives or providing any services. This can turn into a long and not always pleasant relationship, which in most cases is not positive and leads to addiction. To get the latest stories, install our app here
6. Ignore their aggression
Most of the disrespectful behavior of family members is aimed at upsetting us. Ignore their snarky remarks, accusations, or any hurtful words. The more often they see that you don’t care, the more it will confuse them. In addition, it is difficult to manipulate a person who does not respond in any way to aggression against him.
Yes, it can be not easy. But you need to learn to remain calm even in the most unpleasant situations. Don’t admit they are right, don’t cry or shout in response to their insults. You can let off steam later when they’re not around. Such self-control will upset them, which often leads to the attacks stopping.