Have you ever been so obsessed with thinking about him that you couldn’t work, study, or even enjoy a cup of coffee?
Sometimes relationships do not add up, people disperse, and there is nothing left but to stop thinking about him.
This is a sad reality, but sometimes the one we love may not reciprocate, and nothing can be done.
Reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him
1. Your brain responds to your thoughts about the other person
Overcoming an obsession is not so much a matter of willpower as it is a matter of brain chemistry. The neurotransmitter dopamine is to blame for being at the mercy of repetitive thoughts because it allows you to experience pleasure and causes desire.
Every time you picture him, you get a small dose of dopamine, which starts a cycle in which we want to get even more.
When you love him and then lose them, it affects the brain as drugs do. We fixate on a person, and the brain reacts as if it is being rewarded and then deprived of pleasure.
2. You regret the way it ended
Sometimes you can’t stop thinking about him because you don’t like how the relationship ended.
Perhaps you regret that you broke off contact with him, or the relationship was not put to an end.
Either way, you can benefit from past relationships by realizing that you cannot change the past.
3. We are social beings by nature
Our relationships leave an imprint on our consciousness. For this reason, we always have memories of a person, even if he is no longer in our life. If you want to stop thinking about a person, the most important thing is to be clear about how you want to move on.
A long-term obsession with a person with whom you no longer maintain a relationship interferes with your normal life.
Trying to get back together, partying, drinking, or passing hobbies may help for a while, but they don’t solve the real problem. They make you pretend that you can erase everything from your memory in an instant. But it doesn’t work like that.
According to scientific data, we need to forget a person from 3 to 18 months.
However, it is in your hands to do so to facilitate and speed up this process. Use these tips and you will learn to confront your problem instead of ignoring it. With these steps, you will stop thinking about the person.
18 ways to stop thinking about him
1. Make time for yourself
Set a timer on your phone every day and start meditating for at least 5 minutes a day (even better if it’s 15 minutes), find a quiet place, put on your headphones, and listen to meditation or relaxation music. Focus on your breathing by taking deep breaths in and out.
2. Recognize that thought are not related to reality
Think of your obsession with another person as an addiction. If you were recovering from drug addiction, you would hardly doubt how good the drugs were and whether you should return to this lifestyle. When it comes to him, you can try to convince yourself that everything is different here, but it is not.
You need to question every thought you have about him. Your obsessive thoughts about the other person are often false, idealizing what happened. It may seem that you cannot live without it, but believe me, you can, and you can.
3. Don’t energize your thoughts
You need to stop talking about it with friends and loved ones. Constantly talking about him fuels the addiction, as you gain attention by playing the victim.
Instead, it’s best to talk to a psychologist who can give you professional help and ask you the right questions to help you see what you might be missing and find a way to move on.
4. But pay attention to your feelings
We often have intrusive thoughts because we mishandle our emotions. Instead of just feeling and accepting what they are trying to tell us, we hide from them with intrusive thoughts, anger, rage, and grief.
If you work with your feelings, the intrusive thoughts will go away.
5. An exercise
The next time you think you’re obsessed with another person, find a quiet place, sit still and close your eyes, and start applying a mental approach to the situation.
What are you feeling at this moment? Rejection? Loneliness? Anger?
Just sit with that feeling calmly, without judging or digging deep.
What does it look like? Do you feel hot, cold, hard, and dizzy?
Where do you feel the emotion in your body? Let it develop into other emotions, such as sadness.
6. Let go of thoughts about him
Every time an unwanted thought about a person crosses your mind, accept it and let it go.
There will come a moment when you realize that you can control your thoughts and have already overcome them before.
When the same thought comes to your mind, tell yourself that you have already encountered it before, and there is nothing more for you to analyze.
7. Stop idealizing the situation
Of course, you loved him, and he seemed perfect to you in many ways. Perhaps he even managed to convince you that you will be together, and a bright future awaits you.
However, consider whether you have much in common as you look back now. Perhaps you will find many little things in which you were incompatible. Instead of living in an illusion, try to think as close to reality as possible.
8. Don’t seek meetings
Cut yourself off from any contact with him. Constantly repeat to yourself that you should not look for him because he forgot about you, which only worsens the situation.
Try to associate those thoughts with something negative when you think of him. You must realize that this is true because you will get nothing but suffering if he is in your life again.
9. Stop all communication with him
If possible, cut off all contact with the person. If you chat or follow a person on social media, you will continue to feel bad.
Treat this stage as if you were healing a wound. You know perfectly well that it will heal, but you need to give it time. However, if you continue to touch the hurt, the condition will worsen. Remember that after a while, your skin will be like new again.
In the same way, you can learn to stop thinking about him. The main thing is not to let your heart suffer again or get a scar while it heals.
10. Increase the distance between you
Stop visiting places that he often goes to. If you are working with him, avoid meeting him as often as possible.
When you encounter him, could you not engage in conversation with him? Every time your heart begins to beat faster in anticipation of meeting him, realize that you are only preparing yourself for humiliation and suffering again and again.
11. Think about something else
Instead of trying with all your might to get rid of thoughts about him, learn to redirect the energy of thoughts to something more personal and valuable.
Whenever the thought of the person you are trying to get out of your head pops into your head, quickly think of something else.
It’s best to think of something you’d like to grow or develop, such as a plant you recently bought or a pet, your hobby, a project at work, a workout, or any other activity that will help you get better.
Tell yourself that you would like to transfer all your thoughts about him to your project. Keep doing this repeatedly, and you’ll start to develop yourself and get better instead of just getting sloppy.
12. Focus on positive thoughts
If you have unpleasant thoughts about a person, replace them with good memories that don’t include him.
By doing this, you will feel calmer and more relaxed, you will not be constantly agitated, and it will be easier for you to switch your thoughts to something not related to him.
13. Solve problems
Find a crossword puzzle, play entertaining games that require concentration, and start assembling a constructor.
Tasks that require intense mental work take up most of your attention, making it easier to drive away unwanted thoughts.
14. Learn a new activity
Cooking, sports, a new job – the most important thing is to find a healthy alternative and plunge into it with your head.
Think about the dream or goal you put off when he came into your life. Sit down and write down all the steps you need to achieve this goal. And then plan when you take the first step and move on.
This will fill your mind with fresh, joyful thoughts that will eventually erase all traces of him you are trying to forget.
15. Start thinking about someone else
If you want to forget about him, then the ideal way to do this is to find someone or something to think about. Create a distraction and start thinking about something else. You will see how this strategy works wonders.
16. Put an end to your head
If you want to forget someone you like, you need to complete this story. You don’t have to talk to this person. The best thing is to think it over in your head.
Don’t try to ignore the fact that you’ve been rejected or avoid thinking about him.
Suppression only exacerbates the situation. Spend a day or two thinking about what happened in solitude, and once you feel fed up with those thoughts, let them go and move on.
17. Don’t criticize yourself
Stop hating yourself or feeling unworthy just because your relationship didn’t work out.
There are often other reasons that you may not even be aware of.
In addition, some people are selfish or simply unworthy.
Forgive him for hurting you
” Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die .”
He continues to live on, and you hold resentment and anger. It does not help you and does not worsen his life. So why should you hold on to it?
Let go and forgive him for everything, and you will begin to feel better.
18. Imagine a better future
This will be the best future for you. All you have to do is believe it.
Once you’ve worked through the mistakes or learned the lessons to be learned, it’s time to visualize a better future. Just look in the mirror or sit in a quiet room and repeat:
“I am done with him, I am happier today, and my life will improve every day.
You can make anything a reality if you can visualize it.