No one is safe from being betrayed. It doesn’t matter how sensitive, attentive, and understanding you are, how much you try to find common ground, or how much you want to offer someone your best: in the end, you will still be tricked. Furthermore, being betrayed by someone you love and trust is one of the most painful emotions that a person can go through.
You will not be able to bounce back from the behavior of a loved one in such a short amount of time. You won’t be able to stop thinking about how you were treated, which will consume your thoughts. The experience of being disappointed in a person and one’s own decision significantly diminishes one’s quality of life and can cause feelings of anxiety and tension.
Unfortuitously, no one instructs us on how to conduct ourselves in the circumstances like this. In addition, there is no predetermined sequence of steps or methodology. Every individual responds to betrayal in their own unique way. But some general guidelines can be followed to get through this unbearable stage with as few setbacks as possible and without making any offensive mistakes.
1. Don’t place the blame on yourself
It is not your fault that another person places a lower value on your relationship with them than you do. No matter how much effort you put forth, you will never be able to earn the affection or respect of another person. Adults love and admire one another not because of anything but despite anything that may exist between them.
When you discover that a loved one has betrayed you, you will likely start looking for why you would have been capable of such an act yourself. Your insecurities may become apparent at this point. You may think of yourself as uninteresting, too intrusive, unintelligent, inattentive, or something else. However, this evaluation cannot be objective; all you can do is try to figure out why you were handled in such a negative manner. Because of this, you try to search within yourself for characteristics that would cause a person to act in such a manner.
You are not to blame for the betrayal committed by another. It is never a given or a confluence of circumstances; rather, it is always the person deciding for themselves. Even if you did behave in some inappropriate way, this is not a cause to break the confidence that you have earned.
2. Do not think everyone in your immediate environment is the same as you
The fact that a person you cared about and trusted deceived you is unquestionably a bad thing that will cause you to feel disillusioned. However, it would help if you didn’t conclude that everyone around you is a possible traitor. When confronted with comparable circumstances, different individuals respond in various unique ways. For instance, if you stick to certain ideals and do not permit yourself to destroy the trust of your relatives and friends, then there are still individuals who think and act as you do. Some people think and act as you do.
You shouldn’t automatically be dissatisfied in everyone’s absence, refuse to trust people, or cut off contact with them. Just make sure you exercise as much caution as possible, but don’t go to ridiculous lengths.
3. Do not be in a hurry to forgive someone
Do not be in a hurry to forgive; doing so does not always and does not always make the situation easier. There are instances when it is much more important to push through all negative feelings and keep from communicating with the person who caused the pain in your life. You will be able to reflect thoughtfully on everything that took place, come to specific conclusions for yourself, and understand how you feel about a particular person. After you have done so, only then will you be able to answer really and honestly if the individual merits your forgiveness or whether you are unable to let go of your anger.
Don’t be in such a hurry; give yourself some time. There are times when this can be completed in as little as a few hours, while there are other occasions when it takes more than a week or a month.
4. Don’t justify the betrayal
Attempting in any way to rationalize the behavior of another person is the most foolish thing that a person can do. Do not begin to investigate the possible explanations for why he might act so badly against you. Don’t conclude anything just because you’ve heard him say he’s truly sorry and didn’t intend for you to be harmed. A measure of betrayal cannot be imposed on someone against their will or to which they reluctantly acquiesce. A conscious decision is required in every instance of betrayal. People had other options available to them, but they chose to act as they did despite being aware of the implications those choices would have for them.
You won’t discover why they did this to you; they set you up, fooled you, and didn’t support you when you needed it the most, among other things. When a person is faced with the decision to betray someone else, his first thoughts are of himself and the things that are most important to him. If his ego has eclipsed the worth of your connection, there is no use in trying to cleanse his conscience, even if you can convince him otherwise.
5. Find a way to support yourself professionally
When you are busy, you open yourself up to every possibility. Consider that you are already halfway to living and letting go of the circumstance if you have a favorite career, hobbies, or loved ones who can assist you keep your mind off of what happened and get you back to focusing on something else. This is because when you fill your spare time with productive activities, you don’t allow yourself to focus on negative ideas.
Don’t just take it easy. Do not give up on your normal activities, such as catching up with friends, studying, or working on other projects that are not related to your job. If you find that you suddenly do not have a hobby that you particularly enjoy, give a shot at something you have always wanted to attempt. This is a beautiful opportunity to make the most of one’s time while still having fun.