Some research has shown that 20 percent of single women have never actually fallen in love. While it may not sound like much, in any five single ladies, one of them has probably never fallen in love.
Some people really don’t need romance, and on the other hand, they can’t possibly find a person who is good enough for them. Why can’t I fall in love with anyone? The causes; psychologists state various reasons for that. For example, you may have low self-esteem. In this case, you do not believe that someone could love you, which blocks you from loving someone.
Another reason for this could be perfectionism. Maybe you have a perfect picture in your head about how your partner should look and don’t give the person a chance because he doesn’t fit that picture. In fact, in doing so, your high expectations prevent you from falling in love with those who are “not good enough”.
But there is something else you could suffer from without even being aware of it. You may be afraid of intimacy, which is often called “counter-addiction”.
Some signs of dependence are: you have trouble approaching people, you push people who try to get close to you, you don’t like intimate relationships, you are afraid of mistakes, you try to be perfect, you refrain from seeking help from others, you are always busy.
Such people are very reserved, need a lot of personal space, and do not like to be attacked because they are afraid to show vulnerability or weakness.
However, from the outside, they usually look “normal”. They seem confident, successful, and independent. They show that they do not need anyone, although that is not true. Inside, they are very insecure and unsuccessful in their relationships.
Like most psychological problems, the crux of the problem is in their childhood. They may have revealed their weaknesses in the past, but people have ignored them or even ridiculed them. As a result, children learn that they should be strong and independent. The most common cause of this behavior is the loss of emotional connection with the parents or physical or emotional abuse of the child.
Their traumas teach them not to trust anyone. Growing up, they are afraid to approach people and open up. In relationships, we usually become dependent on our partner, so to avoid this, they push away people who get too close to them.
But that can be changed. Some people feel good the way they are and don’t need connections. They focus on their career or other aspects of life. However, other people are looking for a close relationship but cannot achieve it due to their condition.
What they need to do is to learn more about their problem by reading books and psychological articles. In addition, they should seek professional help. It will help you find the core of the problem and get through the feelings you are suppressing. This will help you open up.