The first date, the moment of meeting, is the foundation of future relationships. One awkward move, and they can crumble like a house of cards. This article will share mistakes that single women often make when meeting men, sometimes without realizing it.
Judged by appearance
A dirty T-shirt, a wrinkled, torn shirt, the smell of socks that have not been washed for a long time – these are clear signals “Run!” But if the gentleman is doing well with neatness, his wardrobe items’ cost should not play a role.
A wealthy man can be more comfortable in ordinary clothes, even if his tailor-made designer suits gather dust at home. Accessories are also not indicators: a man can borrow expensive accessories from a friend to impress and show off and buy the latest iPhone model on credit. In turn, a wealthy boyfriend may simply not like watches and jewelry.
Start a conversation with a cliché
You need to understand that you may not be the first, or even the second woman, with whom he had a date this week/this month. And he has told his short biography many times, so another request to know about himself will only cause the thought “Oh! .. Again 25 …”.
If you start a conversation, then during the conversation the man himself will tell you everything you want to know. Unobtrusive “on the topic” questions are much better than “tell about yourself” directly. Moreover, such questions baffle even people who have a vibrant biography.
Spread all the ins and outs about yourself
What films do you like, who is your favorite among the actors, where did you study, who you went on your first date with, and why you are so worried about the problem of global warming – clearly not the kind of information that should be dumped on a man on the very first evening. If only because he will not remember half of it. If your goal is a long-term relationship, he will learn all the “secrets” over time. And some things he does not need to know at all; you must have that same mystery in you.
Play hard to get
Be natural because if a man, like you, wants a serious relationship, he may not drag you to bed on the first evening. Truth and statements in style “only after the wedding” can alert and give reason to think.
Trying to guide you on the right path
A mentoring tone and hints that a man is living the wrong way is the worst thing a woman can do at the beginning of a meeting. “If she already says so now, then what will happen next?” – the majority will think, and most likely, you will not have a second date. To behave this way is wrong, at least because you cannot know all the nuances when meeting a person for the first time. For example, if an adult man lives with his mother, it is not at all a fact that he is an infantile mama’s son – there may be good reasons for this. By starting to condemn without understanding, you will only make things worse for yourself.
Too much to complain about life
Being weak and defenseless, crying on a strong man’s shoulder, and talking about the hardships of life is a normal desire, but not for a first date. The gentleman does not know you yet, you are a stranger to him, and the only thing he can do in such a situation is to nod and assent awkwardly, waiting for a pause in your monologue to say goodbye and leave politely.
To criticize his sense of humor
If it’s funny – laugh, if the joke “didn’t get you” – smile politely or change the subject. Everyone has their sense of humor, and criticism definitely cannot be corrected. A man will not learn to joke the way you like it – you need to accept it.
Don’t offer to split the bill
Even if you are against this approach and think that a man should pay, you still need to offer. A well-mannered man will refuse and pay the bill himself, but the fact that you provided to “share this fate” will bring you several points – it means that you are not a mercenary predator.
Become too intrusive
The fear of abandonment usually explains this behavior, but the paradox is that it can be thrown because of it. These are especially frightening at the beginning of a relationship when they do not yet exist. Dinner at a restaurant and a walk in the park is not a reason to clog Instagram with joint photos and elevate the chosen one to the status of the very one.
It is normal and necessary to wonder how you are doing, but not dozens of times a day or even an hour. And even if you are sure that it is him that you have been waiting for all your life, give the man time to realize this.
Prepare for failure
If ten dates were unsuccessful, then it’s not that the 11th will be the same. Each case is unique, and there is always a chance to meet “the one.” Therefore, you should not sit with a sour face, all kinds of depicting disappointment. A man will immediately notice this – and then everything can go wrong.
The wrong words will be spoken; the bad things will be done that you might later regret. Strong relationships are not given to everyone at once; sometimes, it takes a lot of time, and in no case should you be discouraged.