Trust issues: How to behave if trust in you is lost
Sooner or later, we fall into disgrace to one degree or another. Trust has been lost in you, and you have ceased to be taken seriously. This can happen at work, with family, or with friends. You may be slandered, or you have deliberately driven yourself into such a position, hammering at other people’s requests and considering yourself superior to others. But here’s how it all turned out dashingly – you remained a fool.
In such situations, people often either freak out and leave or show miracles of a sycophant. So, both are wrong. Only we know how to behave in such cases.
Turn on your intuition, be more attentive
It is very important to feel in advance that something is wrong – then you will have more time to prepare, realize and try to prevent trouble. It’s easy to feel disgraced – the number of claims increases. Claims are like a flag dangling in the wind.
There are other signs: they listen to you less and less, interrupt more and more, people who are responsible and not very busy stop giving you over, you fight off the team, from the general fun, and although everyone communicates with you, they try to ignore them. As soon as the first signs appear, you need to take hold of your head, and if you didn’t have time, then … read on.
Assess the situation
Appreciate how deplorable your situation is. Take a close look at how many people have stopped considering you as a person and how strong your enmity is. They just became colder to communicate with you, or will they expel you from the kingdom. The worse the situation, the less time you have to regain your good name.
Don’t lose your dignity
The only thing that the bailiffs cannot take from you is pride, hair, and teeth. But they are also easy enough to lose. Especially if you find yourself in such a situation, you start to tear your hair, get nervous, and, not knowing what to do and how to be, humiliate yourself in every possible way to regain your lost position.
But do not crawl on your knees, beg for forgiveness and another chance, sneak and lick famous places to a mirror shine – you will only aggravate everything and confirm doubts about your worthlessness. Maintain pride and dignity, thereby showing that you are difficult to unsettle.
If you want to show remorse, show it with your actions, not your behavior. In this case, the chances of correcting the situation will be much greater.
It happens that sometimes you do not understand what the matter is. Certainly, there are some guesses, but they are not enough to realize the depth of the ass into which you had the imprudence to climb. Everything seemed to be fine until recently, and then you began to notice how something went wrong.
In some situations, it is useful to squint like a fool to find out as much information as possible, but not in this one. Therefore, do not rush to a heart-to-heart conversation, but first, find out from the close ones what the problem is. If we are talking about relationships, ask your mutual friends; if the trouble struck at work, then your colleagues. Try to find out rumors, moods; maybe someone said something, mentioned something, or perhaps you’ve been suckled for six months already.
After all, you realize that you need to collect information only from those you are on good terms, only they will tell the truth? If there are none, then everything is very bad.
If you sort out your guesses, you will come across a wall of irritation. People who have fallen into disgrace are not used to listening. Not only are you a brute, but you are also stupid; you didn’t understand anything. And secondly, the collected information can be analyzed, pondered, and a bunch of plausible excuses made up in your address and build a line of defense.
Weigh all the pros and cons, assess the situation
Sometimes there is a desire to throw everything to hell, send these offended and find something new. Like, it is impossible to coexist with these muslin young ladies, the time has come to change the way of life. But never rush to destroy bridges and friendships – it’s as reckless as counting the people you drink with as your friends. Are you sure that nothing will happen again in a new place and with new people?
Therefore, analyze everything that has happened recently. It may be worth changing yourself and your attitude towards certain things. However, it may well be that you are in the wrong place and with the wrong people.
Time to correct mistakes
We hope you understand that everything is over, and now all that remains for you is to plow like never before, correcting your previous mistakes. You will have to play by someone else’s rules and not behave as you like. The blessed times are over. Take note of all the claims that you have heard, try to be timely, and fulfill those requirements and requests that you have successfully put.
You’ve been asked to turn in your work on time – turn it in. You were asked to be back on time – to be on time at 8. You were encouraged to participate more actively in the social life of the team – it’s time to join the game. You were told that she likes tulips – buy them. You’ve been warned that you’ll lose your support if you don’t get a job; find one. Remember all the recriminations and act silently without being ostentatious. As they say, the master was angry with the peasant, but the peasant did not know a fig, so try to distance yourself as much as possible from the image of a serf, which is corrected only after he gets hit in the head. Everyone will understand everything anyway.
Less jokes, more action
Humor is a natural defensive reaction to shit. However, it is better to calm down your humor talents in the current situation. We understand that you are joking a lot, but this is not the time for humor. If not sorrow, then realizing your own mistakes is expected of you. And if a person smiles as if nothing had happened, then everything is fine with him. A discrepancy, another was expected.
This does not mean you should put on a monastic robe and go into oblivion. Do not lose your sense of humor, behave a little more seriously, and do not do what you love – stop pinching, and so you’re pissed off. It would help if you thought three times before saying something funny in such a situation.
Time to talk heart to heart
And now, when the time has passed, you can approach the final chord when you seem to have corrected yourself and acquired information. If, of course, it is necessary. Sometimes it is enough to correct, and the former disposition returns. But sometimes you have to do what many do by mistake at the beginning – go directly to discuss what happened.
Now, when you seem to have corrected yourself, it’s time to find out what the matter is and put forward your position, your view of what is happening. Because now they will listen to you, you have proved that these people, this place are valuable to you. And then they would be perceived as an arrogant hedonist.
But keep in mind, you must have concrete convictions; otherwise, there is no point in starting a conversation.