If you are being insulted, we suggest you read a few tips that will help you easily put the abuser in his place.
We often hear offensive words while standing in queues, rush-hour transport, work, and even in the family. Offensive words can be very different – from simple jokes to expressions that cause rage. It is almost impossible to protect oneself from offensive comments; we do not know when and from whom to expect a blow. There are several ways you can handle abuse without compromising your self-esteem.
How to protect yourself from abuse
For example, one adult woman recalls how, in her youth, she stood in front of a mirror, looking at her reflection, and her mother walked by and said a very offensive phrase – “don’t worry about the shape of your nose, because one day it will be possible to have an operation.” Until that moment, this woman did not even think that she did not have a beautiful nose. Disguised insults are especially cruel when a person utters an offensive phrase and adds that he is saying this only for good. It turns out that you should treat the offender with understanding while your soul is disgusting from the words he said.
There are several ways you can handle abuse without compromising your self-esteem
Look at the abuser from the other side
Often, the person who offends others is filled with resentment himself and does not necessarily concern you. For example, a salesperson may be nasty to you, not because she didn’t like you, but because she recently broke up with her husband.
The driver on the road may shout something offensive to you, as a pedestrian, because he is rushing to the hospital to see his child. If you understand that you are not always the cause of other people’s anger, it will become easier to bear the resentment.
Analyze what you hear
If you hear something offensive, divide the sentence into parts and respond to the unspoken rebuke. For example, if a young man reproaches you that if you loved him, you would lose weight, ask him – how long ago did he decide that you stopped loving him?
Look the offender in the face
Ask directly why is he talking to you like that? This will help put the person in their place and make it clear that you do not intend to play the role of the victim.
Use humour
A good sense of humour can help you deal with any abuser. For example, if your friend noticed you have a new skirt and said that chairs are usually upholstered with such fabric, do not get lost and invite her to sit on your lap.
Use conventional signs
One woman was constantly insulted by her husband in the presence of friends; in response to this, she came up with a funny way – there was always a small towel in her purse, and as soon as her husband said something offensive, the woman took out a towel and covered her head with it. The husband, of course, was ashamed in front of his friends, and he quickly got rid of the habit of hurting his wife.
Agree with everything
This will neutralize the critic. For example, if your husband tells you that you have gained ten kilograms, smile and say that you have gained twelve. If he continues to be indignant and asks you, are you going to lose weight? Say no, because you have long wanted to have curvaceous forms.
Ignore what you hear
Turn a deaf ear, listen to criticism in silence and think that this does not concern you. Develop your ability to forgive. You can look at the abuser without speaking. Better to pretend that you are bored; for example, turn away or yawn; critics do not like this attitude.
