When you are in a relationship, you share almost everything with your partner. You sleep in the same bed; you reveal all your fears and your hopes, and of course, you share the same house. What happens when one partner makes more money than the other?
You know everything about him, and he knows everything about you. Or maybe not; And yet a new study conducted in the US revealed that women could tell their most secrets to the other half, but they hide one and only one thing: that they earn more than their partner.
Researchers point out that women are still ashamed and worried if they make more money than men. When the wife has the highest salary in the couple, then the relationship is characterized as non-traditional. And if women are asked in a poll about their earnings, they will lie that their partner earns more money while they earn less.
To explain the phenomenon, the study’s authors believe that the first reason women do not reveal the real monetary benefits of their work is that men still feel judged by the society based on the salary they earn. So if they know that they bring less money home, they feel very uncomfortable since a rule is violated that states that the man makes the house’s bread.
The second reason is that social customs for centuries have dictated that the husband takes care of the family finances and the wife raises the children. And this may not be the case today, at least superficially, but women still feel strange when they have a higher salary than their partner, so they often hide it. In simple words, they think that “the natural order of things” is being violated.
The woman as the “carrier” of the house is presented as an obstacle that the couple must overcome for the sake of their relationship. All of this is further complicated because men who do the housework suffer from feelings of anger and injustice.
How to properly manage money with your partner
- First, decide which expenses will be shared and which will not. Some couples split the costs, while others choose it should all be shared.
- Talk openly with your partner about your financial earnings. This will create a climate of trust.
- Talk about how you managed your money before you got into a relationship.
- The expenses mustn’t be more than the income.
- Try not to create liabilities that exceed your income.
- Try not to be competitive with your partner through finances.
When we imagine a woman who earns more than her partner, we do not consider the mental and emotional weight required for their relationship to be fully balanced. This lack means that we do not have the proper specifications to have a meaningful discussion about who does what, who pays why, and how this dynamic affects both people in a relationship.