Why you don’t have to earn your self-worth, and how to believe it

The constant desire to earn the recognition of others does not lead to the desired result. You can spend a tremendous amount of energy demonstrating your best qualities, maintaining an ideal image, or accumulating achievements without receiving any return from other people. Several ways will help you learn to appreciate yourself for who you are.

8 ways to help you earn your self worth

1. Stop making excuses

Think about how often you explain your decisions, actions, and preferences to other people. You can justify your career choices, hobbies, friends, and partners, even the values you adhere to. It seems that in this way, you can change a person’s negative or neutral attitude towards a part of your personality and earn their approval.

In reality, your attempts to justify yourself only fuel self-doubt and give others a signal that you doubt the correctness of your choice. Stop explaining your choice to people. If someone asks you about it, try not to go into details so as not to take a defensive position. A short and confident answer disarms those who are initially critical and strengthens your self-esteem.

2. Appreciate how you differ from others

Perhaps you are different from others in some way. For example, you have unpopular interests, you are developing in a profession that seems unpromising to most, and your views on life seem outdated to other people. It seems to you that you need to be like everyone else to be accepted, understood, and respected. But your value lies precisely in the things that make you unique.

Your oddities, flaws, and what makes you different from most are a unique set of personal qualities and interests. Stop being shy about who you really are. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. When you accept your individuality, people who share your hobbies will reach out to you.

3. Acknowledge your achievements

For fear of appearing boastful or narcissistic to other people, you may belittle your achievements. You try to explain them by a lucky combination of circumstances, telling them that someone else did most of the work for you. The more often you deny your success, the more others begin to doubt your abilities. That is, your desire to look better in the eyes of the other person leads to the exact opposite result.

Start appreciating your achievements. Praise yourself for each successful stage; do not compare your progress with someone else’s; focus on the positive aspects, not the negative. Remember that every completed task brings you closer to your goal.

4. Shift the focus from the result to the process

By obsessing over achieving a goal, you not only miss the opportunity to enjoy your work. You also start to perceive any failure (even the most minor one) as a personal tragedy. As a result, you lose confidence in your abilities and in your value as a person and a professional. Try to treat your tasks as opportunities to learn something, rather than as a way to prove your worth.

When you understand the importance of the process, you correct mistakes, gain experience, enjoy internal and external changes, and become stronger. You’re growing and developing as a person, and that in itself is an achievement.

5. Direct resources to your own goals and interests

Think about how much time, effort, and other resources you devote to impressing others. Perhaps you take on complex projects for the sake of praise from management, buy expensive things to appear more successful, or try to meet other people’s standards of beauty. Instead, try to focus on achieving your own goals.

Give up trying to create a good impression of yourself among others. Sign up for courses that you’ve been thinking about for a long time, play sports that you really like, and try a new hobby that inspires you. When you start investing resources in yourself and in what interests you, you will feel a surge of energy and strengthen your self-confidence.

6. Stop courting someone else’s favor

Your goal of pleasing everyone around you is bound to fail. Admit the fact that people are too different and can’t treat you the same. Even if you are a wonderful person who will always come to the rescue and never say a bad word to anyone, you will be criticized. There will be someone who doesn’t like your appearance, your interests, or your outlook on life.

People will envy you, consider you too different from them, and see your beliefs as a threat to their familiar worldview. To spend time and energy trying to gain someone’s favor is to betray yourself. Instead, try to focus on building healthy and trusting relationships with those who accept you for who you are.

7. Maintain personal boundaries even with family

Clear personal boundaries are the ability to say “no” when you don’t like something, defend your needs and priorities, and prevent other people from using or manipulating you. You won’t be able to feel important as long as you don’t have an understanding of how you can and can’t be treated.

Moreover, it is necessary to defend personal boundaries even when communicating with the closest people: a loved one, relatives, and friends. Start with basic changes: talk about your feelings and needs, even if it may make the other person unhappy. Remind yourself as often as possible that your well-being is no less important than the well-being of someone else.

8. Take your self-worth for granted

Probably the most important step is to realize and accept the fact that you matter. And not for any reason, but just because you are. You don’t have to prove anything, you don’t have to deserve anything, you don’t have to pretend to be anyone. You are worthy of love and respect simply by birthright.

Stop looking for confirmation of your worth in the outside world. Start with yourself: try to praise yourself for your achievements more often, be kind to yourself in difficult moments, take care of yourself, and put your needs and interests first.