It is quite normal to want to please people, to show your best side. We do many things to get other people’s approval, and often this does not benefit us.
At such moments, we do not realize how useless it is to waste time and effort in trying to impress. Of course, there are people for whom you need to try, no matter what, but most of this is not worth it. Here are some reasons to stop being a people-pleaser, at least for those who don’t deserve it.
7 reasons to stop being a people-pleaser
1. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you
It is at least wrong to try to show yourself in front of all people because, among them, there will definitely be those who treat you negatively already. No matter what you do, they still won’t change their point of view.
This is also supported by various studies showing that bad emotions tend to have a greater impact than good ones and are therefore remembered better. Therefore, if you did something bad for another person, even unconsciously, no matter how hard you try for him, this is unlikely to help him forget the negative experience. To get the latest stories, install our app here
2. The people who care about you want you to be yourself
We often do things to please others: we buy things we don’t need, learn something to meet someone’s expectations, and so on. This is often done to please people who do not like us, or who we do not like, but are needed for profit.
However, the people who really care about us love us for who we are. Of course, they want us to improve for a better life, but not to engage in pretense or strain to win their favor.
Each of us has strengths and weaknesses, which shape us as individuals. Pleasing people who mean little to you while breaking your personality is the wrong step.
3. Perfection is a myth
Many strive for an ideal, something inaccessible but vividly cultivated by modern culture. It is drilled into our heads that we must try to appear perfect to please and delight other people.
But the truth is that perfection does not exist; it is an elusive value that can never be reached. So don’t strive to be perfect for someone, even if that someone is important to you. You still won’t succeed, and, as we said above, close people appreciate you for who you are, with all your advantages and disadvantages. To get the latest stories, install our app here
4. Everyone has different impression criteria
One of the greatest virtues of being yourself is stability in pleasing others. Everyone knows that you are exactly like that, and no one has dissonance. But when you’re trying to impress others by doing things you don’t normally do, then perhaps without even noticing it, you’re adjusting to each person, making adjustments to your presentation.
As a result, you spend your strength and energy on being equally worthy in the eyes of an altruist and an egoist, a follower of a healthy lifestyle and crazy entertainment, and so on. And this takes away something important from you – enjoying the moment.
5. Your efforts will not be appreciated
For the most part, the efforts that people make to improve for someone else are not appreciated by the people for whom they are made. So, for example, a demanding parent will always be dissatisfied with the results of his child, even if he becomes an excellent student and a good athlete. All the same, he will find something to get to the bottom of, which will put a new wall in front of the child, which he will have to overcome.
Remember that you need to try, first of all, for yourself. We mean improving yourself, what makes you smarter, stronger, and so on. There will always be people who will walk around with a sour expression even when they see you achieve your goals.
6. There will always be people who will try to impress even more
We are all different, and each of us has our strengths. You can overstrain as much as you like, but there will always be a person who will do it faster and better than you. And there’s nothing wrong with that; it’s just that how great heights you reach depends not only on your knowledge and experience but also on energy, potential, and other factors. To get the latest stories, install our app here
In this case, when someone beats you in the race to please you, you will become depressed because your goal was to put your personality as the most important. You did not try for yourself, making an impression along the way, but tried for the sake of another. So yes, you need to think, first of all, about developing yourself as a person just for yourself.
7. It holds back your potential
Trying only for others, trying to impress them, you hold back your potential or even dig it deeper, trying to meet other people’s expectations. They expect results from you; they often do not care how you get there.
It’s not uncommon for people trying for others to look for workarounds, something to impress as quickly as possible and skip learning from mistakes, important knowledge, and so on. This does not allow the potential to open up, and you, with the recognition of your achievements, do not notice how you begin to believe in the invincibility of the achieved heights. However, this may be a false opinion.