Being emotionally mature is a skill we all need to learn sooner or later. It is extremely important for relationships, for example, and learning to communicate well with colleagues or family. With emotional maturity comes a meaningful life. These 10 signs show that you’ve mastered emotional maturity.
Am I emotionally mature?
When you’re in control of your emotions to the point of emotional maturity, it means you’ve evolved from an annoying adolescent to a mature and responsible man. Here are ten signs that you, too, have become emotionally mature.
You know others can’t read your thoughts
You don’t assume that everyone understands you. Your friends, loved ones, and family members do not have mind-reading powers, and you realize that. So you will have to share your emotions, from joy to sadness, with those closest to you.
Instead of blaming people for not understanding you, express your feelings as best, you can. You say what you want, tell people how you feel, and do your best to be calm and clear during the process.
You think about your perceptions
Suppose someone has (constructive) criticism on your way of working. You can deal with this criticism in two ways: react angrily and continue rigidly in your way. Or you look at it from a different angle and start thinking about whether the other person could be right.
Also, you do not get angry with this person, but you realize that the criticism is meant well (even though it may not immediately feel that way). This second way of reacting is a sign that you are emotionally mature. You do not always have to agree with the criticism, but you evaluate it thoroughly because it can only improve your work attitude.
You realize that you are wrong
An emotionally mature man can realize his mistakes and learn from them. He says sorry when appropriate and then moves on with his life with new insights. Even saying things like, “I’m not sure I’m right” or “sorry, I’m not a nice person if I haven’t slept well” shows self-knowledge of his flaws. You know you’re imperfect and can share this with others to not suffer.
You understand: compromise is winning, not losing
Agreeing to disagree on a difficult issue by both sides does not feel like ‘being under the thumb’. That is a childish notion. An emotionally mature man knows that compromising will be the start of a finer approach for both parties. He will keep his part of the bargain and communicate it honestly if it doesn’t work out for him.
You know you don’t always have to be strong
That stoic grandfather of yours? He also had feelings. You may never have seen your father cry, but he is also (probably) soft inside. We men can’t always be the hero and always be ‘strong’, and you accept that. You also realize that expressing emotions is a positive quality and that expressing your emotions makes you strong.
Sharing your worries and listening to other people’s worries
Instead of always trying to solve everything yourself (and bottling it up), show your vulnerable side to the people you trust. You trust them with your worries, problems, and thoughts, and, in turn, you listen to their worries and problems. In this way, you can help each other, and you will solve the problem with good courage.
You know: the world is not black and white
You do not immediately see people as good or bad. Everyone makes mistakes, has their problems, and has a different history. If someone makes a mistake, you can forgive them. You don’t hold a grudge, but show compassion and give them the benefit of the doubt. It will also make your life a lot easier because you will let go of your angry feelings.
Accepting yourself the way you are
Whether it’s inwardly or outwardly, we all have insecurities. Emotionally mature men, however, can look at themselves and say, “I’m not perfect, and that’s fine.” Accepting yourself how you are and not constantly trying to overcompensate makes you happier in life. It’s also a sign that you’re not too preoccupied with the superficial and unimportant things in life.
You appreciate people’s imperfections as part of a greater good
If you stop looking for perfection, you will find perfection in the ‘less perfect’ things. True absolute perfection does not exist; everyone has their flaws. However, that is precisely what can make them beautiful.
Look at it from the other side. You can be annoyed that your partner is so stubborn, or you can admire her steadfastness and appreciate that she knows so well what she wants.
Certain red flags are a different story, of course, but in general, as an emotionally mature man, you can look past imperfections and maybe even see them as a positive attribute.
You celebrate the small things in life
It might be fun to change, but that lifestyle won’t make anyone truly happy. You appreciate the ‘little’ things in life. Campfires by the sea and beers with friends, and at the weekend, going to the stadium of your favorite football club with your dad to collect the profits. You know what gold you have in your hands because you can live this life and not want to exchange it for something less meaningful.