10 tips for those who can’t let go of the past
It is still impossible to erase painful memories, although scientists are working on it. There is only one thing left for those who are stuck in the past- learning how to let it go. We provide important tips to help you start a new life.
If the one who hurt you can only offer their apologies, accept them. It’s a shame he didn’t build a time machine and go back in time to fix it, but let’s be realistic.
Even if you never hear words of regret from a person, forgive him. This is not a weakness but a way to get out of the situation as an adult and heal yourself.
Live in the present
How to let go of the past? Live in the present. It sounds logical, but in reality, it is a little more complicated than it sounds.
Learn to focus on the moment, fill daily with events, do not leave yourself time to dig yourself. It takes effort, especially if you are not very strong in awareness yet. Life shouldn’t be the backdrop to your memories.
Sometimes we go back to the past out of guilt. All you can do is express sincere remorse, but this is no longer enough. Say what you had to say, don’t go over your regrets in your head. This will help you forget about everything and move on.
Looking into the future is much more productive than looking back all the time. Think about what you want and focus on achieving your goal. Even if it is a global dream – starting a family, building a career, seeing many countries – you can do something for this today.
Recognize your role in what happened
Take responsibility for everything that happened to you, and stop looking for the extremes.
Realizing your role does not mean blaming yourself. Accept who you were, even if it’s unpleasant. Do not hide behind the phrases “I was forced,” “I was misled.” Stop being a toy in the hands of circumstances. Accept that the relationship cannot be returned, and devote time to creating a new self.
Get away from people who only live in the past
If someone constantly talks about a time that you want to forget, you should bluntly say it is unpleasant for you. Explain that you do not need pity, reproaches, or regrets and no longer want to discuss this topic. You can also leave those who did not understand in the past.
Take a lesson
If you are delving into memories and past mistakes, do it profitably. Instead of rhetorical exclamations: “Why do I need all this?”, Think: “What did this teach me.”
It’s one thing to turn to the past to decide on the present; it is another thing to wander in it, wasting emotions on destructive behavior.
There is a lesson in everything that happens to you. And this is the only thing that is useful for memories.
Trust the healing process. The fact that six months have passed and you are still suffering does not mean failing.
It makes no sense to sit and wait for everything to be forgotten. Ask the Internet: “How to start all over again” and complain to your friends. They won’t put a new life under the door with a note: “You deserve it.” You have to go and make it yourself: develop, travel, make new acquaintances and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Give vent to thoughts and emotions
The past is still in your head because you didn’t let it come out. Write down all experiences on paper and burn them. Collect everything that reminds of what happened and destroy; the more spectacular, the better. Arrange your ritual of farewell to the past, put an end to this endless internal dialogue.
It takes time to realize the benefits of everything that happened to you. Don’t miss the moment when it’s time to understand that you have become stronger, more intelligent, said goodbye to illusions, changed your attitude to life. Be grateful for what you have now, and do not regret what you have lost.