The simplest way to start married life is to be married at a registry office or a wedding reception. To guarantee that the celebration does not become your relationship’s only bright memory, it is crucial to examine your expectations from the marriage properly and not hurry into major decisions. Here are some common first-year mistakes newlyweds make.
1. Expecting to have a lot fewer problems in your relationship
A passport stamp, a marriage certificate, and even a great dinner with all the right formalities seem not to affect your relationship with your partner. However, they place such a high value on the occasion because they think it marks the start of a new life. Your relationship will suddenly become a bit more “real,” “serious,” and “perfect,” regardless of how long you’ve been together. When the post-wedding euphoria wears off, you’re forced to return to real life, which might be discouraging.
Part of the reason for this is exaggerated expectations, which play a role in the first year of marriage. Any conflicts or imperfections of interests are sensed more strongly after marriage, as though the couples are analyzing whether they made the correct decision. Arguments that previously did not influence your relationship are now causing serious doubts and fears.
The only way to avoid this crisis is to stop thinking of marriage as a solution to all problems. You may and should both develop and improve as a couple, but it doesn’t mean your partner will become Mr Perfect. To put it another way, don’t marry someone you want to change. Don’t wait for problems to go away; instead, learn to handle them swiftly and painlessly.
2. Not attempting to make your house more comfortable
Those who began living together before the wedding are unlikely to notice a difference. If you’re just moving in together, though, it’s critical to establish a feeling of shared space. You may feel like you’re simply a visitor for a long time if you move in together, and vice versa. So, even if the apartment is rented, develop your strategy for becoming complete owners.
This might include purchasing furniture as a set (for example, a bed) or any little household things such as bed linen or a set. As a result, you show the start of a happy life together.
3. Hurry up to the next stage as soon as possible
Marriage is often the trigger for other major choices, such as purchasing a home or starting a family. But just because you’re officially husband and wife doesn’t mean you have to jump right in. Only do what you’re really ready for, no matter how pushy your in-laws may be with inquiries regarding parenthood.
It’s pointless to compare yourself to other couples or to strive to live up to society’s expectations: marriage is only a formality that doesn’t force you to rush to the bank for a mortgage or to plan for conceiving.
4. Maintain an open relationship with family and friends
Couples who have just begun living together are most likely to make this mistake. Because you’re transitioning from one family (mother, dad, siblings) to another (your partner), it’s critical to understand how to tell the difference. The new priority: your partner and the life you’re trying to create together may run counter to your previous habits and interests.
His family and yours will have to learn to understand when you want to be alone with each other and when you want to spend time with them. Set boundaries from the start of your relationship; this will help you prevent a lot of difficulties later on.
5. You may believe that you do not need a long-term financial strategy
Because your property ties are now firmly governed by law, marriage allows you to establish long-term financial objectives. Before you go to the registrar’s office, it’s good to discuss your priorities. However, if you already know that your perspectives on life are similar, it’s time to discuss the material side of things.
Create a financial strategy for what you want to accomplish in the future. Purchasing a car, a home, travelling, or relocating to another state all need planning and a clear grasp of accomplishing these goals.
Material objectives that are shared will assist in enhancing the relationship: you will both know where you are headed and will feel more assured.
6. Use common hygiene products together
This may seem to be a small problem, but it may lead to plenty of household problems in the long term. Assume you’re sharing toothpaste. You notice that your partner often leaves it open or places it in the incorrect place over time, and then one day, you go to wash your teeth before night, and it’s gone (because someone dumped half a tube on the brush and was too lazy to warn you that they used the last toothpaste). I
Decide what you’re willing to share and what you want to keep private to prevent unnecessary confrontation.
7. Putting distance between yourself and your friends and family
The disadvantage of not having boundaries is that you make them too restrictive and isolate yourself from those around you. All other hobbies and relationships fade into the background when you first start a relationship; it’s a normal process. However, focusing your whole life on your lover is risky since you risk being alone in a bad scenario.
Encourage your partner to spend time with your friends and family, whether with or without you and encourage him to do the same for your loved ones. In this manner, you’ll be secure while avoiding boredom in the marriage.