There are different points of view: someone believes that a person chooses his own circle of communication, starting from his character, interests, and views on life. Like is attracted to like — you get closer to those who have something in common with you. Others, on the contrary, are sure that a person’s personality forms his environment. It depends on other people, how you manifest yourself, what you believe in and what you do.
There is no unambiguous answer to the question of who is right. Instead, both opinions have a place to be. A person lives and develops in society so that the people who surround him can influence him. Moreover, they do not always do it intentionally and consciously. Sometimes a person’s words, actions, moral support, or a negative example make you change.
The people with whom you communicate most closely can influence you. It can be your good friends, parents, relatives, a loved one, and sometimes even colleagues, bosses, and neighbors. The list can go on and on because even a random passerby can change something in your thinking. We have collected several ways how people around you influence the change in you and your character.
1. They disappoint you
As sad as it may sound, the best motivation to start changing yourself and your life is disappointment in the person you trusted. After a painful breakup or betrayal of a person you once considered your close friend, you often begin to analyze what you could have done wrong. You remember situations where you were too intrusive, jealous, or cruel; think about how you would have behaved at that time if you knew what your actions could lead to.
But not always the problem turns out to be in you — sometimes a person gets bored of communication, finds a replacement for you, or decides that he needs to prioritize differently. Even in this case, you have something to think about. You may realize that you were too naive, trusting, and kind to a person who forgave his misdeeds accepted stupid excuses, and tried to fix your relationship to the last.
After a painful breakup with someone, you start working on yourself. You conclude and decide to protect yourself from possible mistakes in the future. In most cases, you become tougher on others, learn to put yourself and your needs first, set personal boundaries, and not allow anyone to cross them.
2. They show you an example
There must have been people in your environment whom you looked at with admiration. These could be never-discouraged individuals, those who have achieved success in their profession, people who, no matter what, remained kind to others and helped everyone who needed them. You watched them and dreamed of being at least a little like them, in character, words, or deeds.
When you have a person in mind from whom you want to take an example, sooner or later, you will be able to change yourself. Unconsciously, you begin to analyze his actions, adopt some habits, revise your views on life. This is not copying someone else’s image but only an attempt to look at the world differently. You become like those people who cause you positive emotions. And the more you surround yourself with those who are better, stronger, and more intelligent, the faster the process of your personal growth will take place.
3. They make you believe in yourself
Some such wonderful people are always ready to give you all possible support, physical or emotional. When you share your ideas with them, tell them about your goals, or doubt the reality of achieving your dreams, they only make you believe in yourself. Nothing is impossible for these people: they are ready to spend their time trying to calm you down, think over an action plan with you, or offer you help.
If there are such personalities in your environment, with a high degree of probability, you will believe in yourself and your strength. After all, it isn’t easy to do nothing with such support. You will more often take a conscious risk, knowing that there are people behind you who can put their shoulders on a difficult moment.
4. They make fun of your ideas
You can live for a long time without trying to change something in yourself or the reality around you. But one day you will get tired of a low salary, a tedious job, lack of hobbies or other equally important elements of your life. You will decide to change radically, discarding old habits. It’s great if your environment supports you or treats your idea neutrally. But if your family and friends do not like what you have in mind, they may try to undermine your self-confidence.
Sometimes it happens unintentionally: your loved ones just start worrying about what awaits you in the future. They say that stability is better than a risk that may not be justified; they give you unsolicited advice, scold you for naivety and remind you of past negative experiences. But sometimes, they make fun of your ideas on purpose, not wanting to lose the old connection with you, feel weaker than you, or are afraid to admit that they are not satisfied with the quality of their life.
Hearing from close people mockery and ridicule what is important to you is a dubious pleasure. You may begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. At the first mistake or failure, you risk abandoning your goals and returning to your previous lifestyle, where your environment will be waiting for you with open arms. Or you can do something else: prove to everyone who didn’t believe in you that you are capable of achieving anything you want. The choice depends only on you.
5. They put pressure on you
You’ve probably encountered this kind of behavior from people around you. They were not satisfied with something about you, and they tried to put pressure on you, forcing you to change for them. It could be relatives who had high expectations for you, friends who felt that they were losing touch with you, or a girl who wanted to see someone more intelligent, stronger, and more successful next to her.
People often resort to manipulation: they blackmail you, say that they are disappointed with any of your words or actions, compare you with someone else. Being afraid of losing those dear to you, you can agree with their demands and begin the transformation. You often regret it, realizing that you absolutely did not need such changes. But there are exceptions: you may not notice what your loved ones see from the outside for a long time. In this case, having decided to make changes, you realize that your life is getting better.
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