How to cope when your image and expectations don’t align

The gap between how you see yourself and how you want to see yourself can be impressive. If reality doesn’t match your own expectations, you may experience anxiety and dissatisfaction with yourself. Inconsistencies in your image can manifest in various areas, including work, relationships, hobbies, and appearance. We’re figuring out what to do if you’re unhappy with yourself at the moment.

9 Ways to cope when your image and expectations don’t align

1. Analyze the differences

The first step to solving a problem is always to realize it. Honestly answer the question: what exactly does not suit you about yourself? You can name specific character traits, behaviors, appearance, or even values that you think don’t quite match your true views on life. Do not evaluate or justify everything that you have outlined. An ordinary statement of facts will suffice. You will need to live with the information you received during the analysis for some time. It’s best if you write down your answers so that you can come back to them in a few days.

2. Make a list of qualities that you would like to show more often

When you determine what exactly does not suit you, proceed to the next step. You know what you are and what you want to change. That is, you have point A ready, from which you want to leave. It remains to formulate point B — the image that you will strive for. You will have to self-analyze again: list the qualities, character traits, and behaviors that you would like to see in yourself. Be as specific as possible so that you can clearly set your goals. The clearer you imagine the desired image, the easier it will be for you to move towards it.

3. Identify the reasons for the discrepancy

Try to understand why your current image does not match the desired one. There are a lot of potential causes: negative past experiences, injuries, fears, self-doubt, and habits that are difficult for you to get rid of. Often, due to shocks and worries, you can move away from the image that meets your values, and subconsciously avoid returning to it in the future.

Anyway, a deep and honest analysis of the causes of the discrepancy will help you understand what exactly needs to be worked with. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. So you will need to use the knowledge you have gained in building a further action strategy.

4.Develop a strategy for change

After you understand your initial data and cause-and-effect relationships, you can start developing a plan. This is an important step, without which you can spend resources on chaotic actions without achieving the desired result. Approach the changes with full responsibility: break the desired image into small parts, and turn each of them into a task.

Don’t try to change everything about yourself at once. Nothing good will come of it — you will only fail and strengthen your doubts that you can transform. It’s best to start small and gradually increase the difficulty. Make sure that every step you take is feasible and brings you a sense of satisfaction.

5. Practice new behaviors

Theory is important, but you won’t get very far without practice. Therefore, you need to train new behaviors. It’s great if you can do this in a safe environment, ideally in a closed environment or alone. This is important so that you get used to new habits and start feeling comfortable in new conditions before you show them to the world.

Repeat the same actions regularly, remember that it is repetition that helps consolidate the information and skills you have gained. Keep an eye on discipline: on the way to the desired image, you will often want to return everything as it was, but the final result will depend only on you.

6. Be patient and persistent

Changing your habits and behavior in general is a long and time—consuming process. You will not be able to transform without a huge investment of time, effort, and patience. Don’t expect quick results from yourself — any changes need to be fixed. Be prepared for intermediate failures, mistakes, and doubts, but do not allow yourself to stray from the intended path. Remind yourself that every small step brings you closer to your goal. It is important to remain persistent and not lose motivation.

7. Accept yourself the way you are now

In order to truly achieve the desired changes, you must accept yourself for who you are. This won’t stop you from moving forward and cultivating new qualities in yourself — quite the opposite. Accepting your imperfection is an act of love and respect for your personality. This attitude gives you many advantages: your motivation will not be to correct yourself and strive for imaginary perfection, but to decide to grow and work on yourself without compromising self-esteem, psyche, and health.

Accept yourself for who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Allow yourself to make mistakes and don’t scold yourself for it — you can’t know and be able to do everything in the world. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses to become the best version of yourself. Remember that acceptance is an important step towards self—improvement.

8. Listen to yourself and your feelings

In the process of change, it is important to listen to your inner feelings. It is quite possible that you overestimated or underestimated yourself in some way, that you made hasty decisions, or tried on a behavior model that is not really close to you. Ask yourself: Do you really like the way you behave or feel? If you feel uncomfortable in a new role or image for yourself, if what you were striving for contradicts your values and beliefs, then stop. Don’t be afraid to put the transformation on hold to reconsider your original plan.

9. Improve, but stay yourself

Striving to become a better person is commendable, but what is even more important is not to lose your personality. In no case should you try to copy someone else’s behavior, meet other people’s expectations, or blindly follow other people’s advice. People will always criticize you, but that’s no reason to pay too much attention to their opinions. Be true to yourself and your values — this is your main compass. Improve your skills and qualities, but at the same time keep what makes you a person with a unique view of the world.