How to find the source of your happiness

Since ancient times, people have debated what happiness is. According to Aristotle, the keys to happiness are virtues — medieval philosophers pointed to the love of God and the observance of the commandments. In the 18th century, Jeremy Bentham proposed the revolutionary concept of achieving happiness through personal satisfaction. In the modern world, happiness is often viewed as a mindset.

We know examples of rich people who are deeply dissatisfied with their lives and, conversely, quite satisfied with the lower strata of the population. Anyone can choose the most appropriate interpretation and be satisfied (at least one that aligns with their concept). However, this provision only adds to the confusion. In response, the opposite ideas appear, according to which happiness does not exist at all or it is fundamentally unattainable.

What happiness is not

First, let’s turn to joy. Emotionally, she is close to happiness but has a key difference — a short-term mindset. Joy is a temporary wave of delight, followed by the same rapid decline. Happiness is long-term or even endless. You wake up in the morning, and you know for sure that the day will be wonderful. Not only today but also tomorrow, in a week, and a month. Always. From an early age, we are taught that happiness must be earned.

This may be true, but some people take the installation too literally. It’s as if happiness requires mastering specific skills, saving a fixed amount, and having the right set of things. At some point, it becomes clear that such happiness cannot be achieved. What is the conclusion that suggests itself after an obvious failure? Unworthy. It’s amazing, but the world is full of people who sincerely believe that they are unworthy of happiness.

Others believe that the search for happiness is something unworthy, a form of selfishness. Here, you can find the logic. There is not enough space under the sun for everyone. So, by occupying such a place, a person deprives someone of such an opportunity. However, this is true only within the framework of a generally accepted or materialistic view of happiness.

Carl Barney, author of The Happiness Experiment, talks about the importance of happiness and the inadmissibility of leaving its realization to chance. By doing so, a person is almost guaranteed to deprive himself of even the prospect of becoming happy. On the other hand, Carl attempts to convince readers that personal happiness can take on a variety of forms, among which there is no best or worst. The primary issue is that it can be challenging for an individual to determine what they truly want from life.

Waiting versus creating

We always plan everything: a career, marriage, a trip to the seaside, even dinner and an evening movie. However, fortunately, we usually don’t have any plans. It is perceived as a by-product. If you complete all the tasks planned for your life, you may get happiness as a bonus. You’ll get a degree, get a prestigious job, buy a car or a house, start a family, and then happiness will come by itself.

This is a mistaken belief that often leads in a completely different direction. It is only years later that the realization comes that happiness, like all other significant achievements, is the result of conscious activity and systematic work. Visit. A F R I N I K . For the full article. Certain events bring joy as a side effect.

Nevertheless, happiness is not something that should be sought or expected. It needs to be planned and implemented. Happiness is not a bright flash but a constant background. This is precisely the plan for introducing happiness into everyday life that is proposed in the book The Happiness Experiment.

Happiness Inventory

It’s worth starting with an assessment of the current state. Take a look at the past week or month: what events caused a feeling of happiness, and most importantly, what actions led to it? Perhaps this was achieved through the realization of personal qualities or communication with certain people.

It could have been purchases of some things, but what made them so significant? If you dig around, you’ll find the answers: the desire to make an impression, getting the necessary items to work more effectively, or satisfying your interests. Anyway, behind everything, deed, and desire, there is something more than an impulsive “I want.”

Assessment of everyday life

No movie consists of continuous action. It’s the same in life. Most of the time, we are busy with routine. Work, household chores, going to the store, solving small but countless and monotonous tasks. It’s easy to miss essential things in this rhythm. How many times have you realized happiness in hindsight? Then I felt ungrateful — it seemed as if the loss would never be made up.

Plan your days so that you have as much free time as possible for something or even nothing. If you sit in a room without any thoughts, then soon dozens of thoughts will arise in your head, and among the cycle of images with memories, there will be outlines of the happiness of the past and the future.

Setting intentions

Having no happiness, you think that to achieve it, you need to change your life radically. Sometimes, this is true, but more often, a “surgical intervention” is enough — subtle but precise and conscious actions. Spend at least one hour a day doing enjoyable activities. The main thing is to do it regularly, as often as possible. Naturally, you should first determine your intentions.

Make a list of specific things, actions, and people in your head or diary. Remember that happiness is individual. It can be hidden on the pages of a book, in a computer game, at a stadium, at a family table, in a friendly company, or complete privacy somewhere in nature.

Evaluation of the effect

A good plan should produce an appropriate result. Periodically, it is necessary to reflect on your actions to determine how effectively they contribute to your happiness. Think of your plan as an experiment where you will inevitably have to make changes. Surely, there will be important things in the past that are no longer relevant, and vice versa: some aspects of everyday life will turn out to be irreplaceable. The assessment will allow you to notice how your views, hobbies, and desires are changing and, consequently, the ways to achieve happiness.

Keep the balance

Planning for personal happiness should not turn into ignoring other responsibilities. If work gets in the way, then you need a different schedule, perhaps in another company, but living on benefits is unlikely to lead to happiness. It’s the same with communication: by moving away from uncomprehending relatives and cutting off contact with annoying friends, you’re likely to lose a lot more than you gain. Meanwhile, never doubt that you deserve happiness. It’s not other people, the employer, or a cruel fate that puts obstacles in the way, but your actions or lack thereof.