How some Roma communities raise boys and girls differently

Gypsies are a mysterious people. Many people are afraid of them and try to avoid them. And some people love gypsy songs and dances. If you look at Gypsies from the outside, you get the feeling that they don’t deal with children at all. Gypsies seem to exist on their own. Noisy, naughty, not attending school. But anyone who has been inside the camp knows perfectly well that strict discipline exists there. The elder obeys implicitly. A daughter-in-law does not dare to contradict her mother-in-law. Why are gypsy babies so different from other children?

A boy was born, it’s cool

Boys in a gypsy family enjoy absolute freedom. But the main value is absolute love. Until the baby turns seven, he can do whatever he wants. Running outside, going to bed after midnight, and eating what he likes. He will not be fed semolina porridge and scolded for not coming home on time. Gypsy children do not go to kindergartens. But this does not mean that no one is watching them. Mom, aunt, older sister, grandmother, there is always a woman who will look after the boy. The child will never be left alone.

However, girls are treated about the same way. In general, it is quite difficult to distinguish a gypsy boy from a girl at this age. However, princesses have long hair. As it is, they run around in tracksuits and play the same games. They shout and play pranks. They get angry, sometimes rude to passersby, laugh, and cry. But when the day of the seventh anniversary comes, everything changes. The child ceases to be a little god, whom no one scolds, but everyone adores.

How boys are raised

The birth of a boy in a gypsy family is a real celebration. Boys are not just loved; they are treated like gods, beings who came from heaven. Boys are considered the future heads of the family, the progenitors of the family. There is such a tendency: if only girls are born in a gypsy family, then parents, after many unsuccessful attempts, can go to an orphanage and adopt a boy. At the same time, no one looks at his appearance, and no one cares about his nationality.

The boy in the family is the pride. He has been in “free flight” for up to seven years. She plays, runs, and has fun with her sisters. But when he turns seven, the situation changes. Now the boy will be trained to be a man, and he occupies the main place in the family. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. Fathers begin to take their sons with them to see how transactions are conducted, how to trade, how to distinguish gold from counterfeit, how to influence people, and how to count money. Very often, boys don’t go to school. In fact, this institution replaces the street.

It is believed that by the age of fourteen, a kid should already be able to earn money on their own. By the way, teachers in schools note that Gypsy children are often quick-witted and flexible. But not everyone sits down at a desk. It’s like, “if you don’t want to, don’t go.” But on the other hand, the boy will not be able to present claims to anyone later due to a lack of education. Currently, there is a tendency for Gypsies to send their children to study. But there is no need to talk about its widespread distribution.

But what about the girls?

I raise girls differently. When the baby turns seven, she is no longer allowed to wear trousers. From now on, it’s just a skirt. At the age of eight, a little gypsy girl can cook any soup, clean the house, clean carpets, and look after her younger siblings. And, of course, she gets lessons in “craftsmanship”: how to distinguish gold from counterfeit, how to guess by the hand and spread “fate” on the cards, how to participate in the family business.

The girl in the camp does not have much freedom. She is not allowed to leave the house alone, she cannot go on dates with boys, and when a young gypsy gets married, she has to obey her husband in everything. Just as she had always obeyed her father implicitly. It may seem that everything is too strict. But no. There is no abuse. You just have to respect your elders, keep the house clean, and what is very important is to get married successfully and have children. Girls are trained to do this from a very tender age. They absorb this plan with their mother’s milk.

Family comes first

There is a nuance worth mentioning. A gypsy boy or girl is always raised to be devoted to their family. Not a career, not science, not anything else: just a family in which he will be happy and in demand. The main criterion is the ability to create your own kind. Have children, build a solid family. Gypsies have a special attitude towards singles. They are not loved, but rather despised. Well, they feel a little sorry. When children turn thirteen, they are considered old enough to marry.

However, today this age has become more impressive (sixteen to twenty years). However, marriage has not changed its essence. It’s not about feelings, it’s about love. The main thing is to choose the right strategy. Family members (father, mother, some relative of theirs) choose the bride or groom for the child themselves. Next, it’s just a matter of agreeing. We have made a decision, that’s it, the children will not have to choose their fate. Everything is decided for them. Of course, there are other options. When love arises between a young girl and a guy, there may be an option to steal the bride.

Yes, Gypsy pedagogy is not the same as that of Russians. It may seem strange, harsh, and incomprehensible. But she’s like that. She is not affected by power, fashion, or age. And today, when people see a gypsy child who does not behave the way we used to, it becomes clear that Gypsies raise children in a completely different way. Whether this is good or bad, no one can say. That’s how it happened. That’s the way it’s done.

People don’t know much about Gypsies. TV series and feature films about these nomadic people do not reflect real life. Bright skirts flash on the screen, horses gallop, songs flow. There, boys and girls find their happiness, run away from the camp, and contradict the elders. It happens, but it’s very rare. The mysterious gypsy halo prevents people from perceiving reality as it is.