Most people face the problem of subconscious resistance because they don’t understand it and keep making the same mistakes. And at the same time, no one tells them that they are doing something wrong.
In simple words, subconscious resistance is a forced rejection of serious changes in your life. If these changes require the formation of new and productive habits, you start clinging to old habits. Sometimes subconscious resistance can manifest itself in the form of doubt. You set ambitious goals for yourself and then dissuade yourself from fulfilling them, thinking that all this is too difficult or that you will not cope.
But here’s the weird thing – usually, you don’t realize that you’re doing the wrong thing. The brain was created to control not only physical but also psychological processes. Therefore, at any given time, the human mind is busy filtering out unnecessary details and focusing only on the most important information that feeds its basic beliefs.
People tend to see only those things that make them believe what they already know. External stimuli we notice echo thoughts and perspectives that make us who we are – who we want to be. Typically, a person’s thoughts and impulses reflect things that he has already done in the past.
Therefore, when we say boring phrases like “change begins with new thoughts,” they are fair and even scientifically proven in a sense. By changing our thoughts, we also change our points of view and impulses. And with them, our future also changes, but without subconscious resistance.
Now that we understand what this all means, let’s discuss some of the self-destructive habits that keep you alone – even if you want to create a relationship.
You are too cynical
Let’s be honest, even if it’s unpleasant. If you’ve come to conclusions like “all men …” or “true love probably doesn’t exist …”, then you’ve already doomed your next relationship to death!
I know it’s not easy to do, but if you want to give your relationship a real shot, get those prejudices out of your head. Stop guessing. Stop projecting. Stop being so careful about missing out on a real opportunity to be happy.
Cynicism can be your main obstacle to love. It is not your fault that your past relationship was unsuccessful. But if you continue to drag the baggage of your former partners with you, then in a new relationship, you will not succeed.
Your independence is false
It is very sad to see this. A woman reads all these interesting articles about independence and how it attracts guys. Therefore, she creates the appearance of her success and independence. She thinks she is doing the right thing.
And then she compromises … She gives up many things to please her beloved. In an attempt to make him happy, she gives up her life and all her joys. In such a situation, it seems that all this independence of her was put on. And if her boyfriend realizes that his girlfriend has no meaning in life except to hold on to him with his hands and feet, then it will hardly seem healthy to him.
It would help if you didn’t build your life so that your boyfriend likes it. Change it, be happy, and you will see who will appear in your life.
You still want what you cannot have
This often indicates immaturity or, perhaps, the existence of some trauma in the past. The bottom line is that if you only want what you cannot have (and at the same time you lose interest in a thing, as soon as you get it), then you program your relationship in advance for failure.
It is a vicious circle that sabotages all of your efforts to be happy.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want. You do not have to make excuses for what you like, what inspires you, and for your ideal man. Nobody tells you that you have to compromise or “put up” with anything.
Just be honest with yourself about what makes you happy in the long run. What qualities will you find most difficult to tolerate? What discourages you from dating a person? What traits should a man have for you to fall in love with him? All of these questions are important.
Your standards are too high
This is another category of extremes. If you’ve set the bar so high that no man can live up to your expectations (characters from fairy tales and TV shows don’t count), then it’s time to reevaluate your standards. Remember that success, money, and power are temporary qualities. Beauty is also a matter of taste. Think more about what qualities your partner should have and why they are important to you.
Once you determine for yourself what qualities you value in another person the most, do not compromise! Let these criteria guide you in your quest.
Past mistakes have taught you nothing
Why might the relationship not work out? Why do we waste our time falling in love and letting our hearts break? If this teaches you something, then it was not in vain. It was an important lesson, a wake-up call, and perhaps even a moment of self-discovery.
Now you know what you don’t want, and you can define the ideal for yourself. After experiencing a failed relationship, you will identify your internal problems and understand that this guy is not suitable for you and will not change. Next time, you’ll make wiser decisions!
If there was no meaning in all that happened and the failed relationship did not teach you anything, you are missing something.
You are afraid to win
Finally, one of the biggest difficulties in finding happiness is the fear of success. In this case, it is the fear of winning and finding the love for which you have been striving for so long, long.
Why are people afraid of success? Typically, this fear is associated with low self-esteem or childhood trauma. Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve to be successful or can’t imagine that all of this is happening. And thus, we go against our desires.
It’s time to start visualizing!
Remember that your subconscious mind is a kind of “gateway” separating happiness and unhappiness. Dig into the depths of your soul, and you will be surprised what you can find there.