Why can’t anyone change their life?

It suddenly turned out that keeping a diary, thinking positively, and visualizing one’s dreams do not help change one’s life. More people are more or less dissatisfied with their situation than those completely satisfied. The latter are also called happy, although today, “established” is fashionable. Representatives of the first group are often interested in joining the second group. However, instead of asking representatives of the “happiness fraction” directly, applicants prefer to listen to their likes, who did not get anywhere and did not change anything.

Not all changes are pleasant

Primary changes necessary for starting some process are mostly unpleasant, at least at the initial stage. In addition, they do not produce immediate results; the delayed positive effect cannot be appreciated, while the negative of discomfort is close by, literally in the same room as you. Therefore, having suffered a little, a person usually gives up, seeing no sense and having no incentive to fight further with himself. He already saw the final result, so desirable and pleasant, but the accompanying difficulties were not part of the plan.

It is approximately like physical exercises, which can hardly be called pleasant, but they are worth the final result and the spent efforts. However, if a person stops exercising, the effect achieved disappears quite quickly. Soon, there is no trace of it, and the next attempt will start from zero or even from minus. Immorality will remind you of the past failure, urging you to be sensible, persuading you to stop the challenge and accept the inevitable.

Too many habits

Changing your life means giving up a whole series of habits you might not think of as habits. That is why they are habits, not to be noticed. Some are useful, others are harmful, some are noticeable from the outside, but some are hidden from view. The latter is the biggest problem on the road to life change. If the harmful but at least noticeable habit can be pointed out to others, the hidden one will have to be realized on its own. The bad news is that there are many more of these hidden habits; in fact, life itself consists of them, at least a significant part of it.

In addition, often, one is tied to the other and overlaps with the third. Here’s a simple example: morning, coffee, cigarette. If you quit smoking, will you want to drink coffee in the morning? Some will still want to, but someone will give up the second habit, here already more individual. Waking up, immediately grabbing the phone, or waking up the computer is a habit; it is rarely dictated by real need because the alarm clock is already heard. The missed call can easily wait a few minutes.

Specificity is not part of the plan

Abstraction seduces its universality because something shapeless, colorless, and tasteless will suit everyone. That’s why success abstraction sells so well to bloggers and other motivational gurus. Reality and life love specifics to make things clear and understandable, with an obvious reference point as the final goal. Without it, you can go astray and end up not at all where you expected.

But that’s not all because you also need a step-by-step action plan in addition to being specific in the wording of the final goal. The same is clear and understandable, where each item is also specified, not leaving or narrowing to a minimum the space for the favorite “we’ll see.

The difficulty lies in the reluctance to plan and scrutinize small steps towards a big goal. On the one hand, they seem simply unworthy of attention; on the other, they can be frightening. After all, if it takes so much effort, so much concentration to overcome just one, the smallest step, what will happen at the end? Probably it is impossible to pass there at all, one thinks and ends the journey. The truth is that each step is as if passed to your side; at the end, they add up and allow you to rise so high that you do not notice the final obstacle.

Laziness is stronger than motivation

Any, even the most resourceful and strongest motivation crashes against the wise laziness that never tires of repeating: “The quieter you ride, the farther you will be”. Excluding childish games, practice shows the opposite: you will not go farther, because according to this logic, to achieve the highest result, it is necessary to stand still. Then space-time continuum will collapse, and the Universe will fall to its knees, unable to make any more intrigues. Look at the people around you; they are probably not the most agile of our species and therefore have achieved little more than you. You have to be quicker in life and not too fast to do too much damage.

Generally, all people are lazy, because to do nothing is better, at least pleasant than to do what you don’t like. That is why only deeply convinced people, fascinated by the very process of their activity, do not know peace. The rest wake up in the morning already tired, always grumbling and, certainly, unwilling to make additional efforts for the sake of something vague, abstract. Laziness is a terrible plague that has ruined countless lives and prevented its owners from realizing their potential.

Resistance of your own “I”

Life is yours, and you live it; to change life is to change yourself in the first place. The more radical the desired changes, the deeper and more acute the internal conflict will be because this inner “I” does not know what it thinks of itself. It’s like it’s screaming: “I am the power here”, cutting off all efforts, cutting off all negotiations at the root. It is impossible to agree with itself amicably, gently, through concessions and bargaining. Negotiations have to be carried out exclusively from a position of force; power never changes in any other way.

This “I”, which has been sitting inside since birth and is used to control the person, will naturally begin to resist. There will be persuasion and intimidation, hysterics, and populist suggestions. At some point, you may feel completely devastated. This feeling works in different ways; for some, it’s just alarming; for others, it scares the hell out of them. You have to look carefully into the void, make sure that the past self has gone or gone into a deep sleep, you can take over the throne, taking the reins of power in your own hands.

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