Words you should never let define you
Our relationships with individuals and whole groups are built through communication. You don’t have to be the smartest, strongest, or richest person to gain credibility. Most often, a pronounced sense of self-worth is enough, which no one has the right to encroach on. Throughout your life, your ego is under attack, and that will never change.
There will always be competitors who want to overthrow, subjugate, and belittle. The simplest and most effective way is to label them. Some of them are neutral and harmless, others may even contain deep meaning. But there is a third type of label that you should immediately take off.
4 Words you should never let define you
1. You are not a clown
The ability to joke or tell interesting stories definitely gives you an advantage. Being in the company, you can defuse the situation or break the awkward silence. A sense of humor makes a person more attractive, because everyone likes to laugh. However, sometimes it becomes a problem. Especially if you have nothing else to offer the other person, except jokes.
Constant frivolity tires others. In addition, you can fall into your own trap of distorted reality. When even really good humor just turns out to be inappropriate. Thus, you turn from the “soul of the company” into an inadequate person. However, this is not a bad scenario. Sooner or later, free stand-ups find their audience.
The main thing is the regularity of performances and the increasing degree of isolation from the place, the people present, and the context. One day, they will ask you to joke or tell some lies. After completing the number, you won’t get any applause or high recognition. On the contrary, every time the reputation will fall. At least because it is impossible to endlessly generate successful jokes.
Soon, you will be given the image of a clown, from whom nothing special is expected. You will become a source of light entertainment in between more important conversations, where you will no longer be allowed. That’s why it won’t be easy to get rid of this status. That’s why you should never make jokes on order, try to keep a balance between seriousness and humor.
2. You are not the servant
There are several ways to turn into someone’s servant. Previously, such people were bought at slave markets, but later they were hired for money. In one way or another, each of us serves someone, but in the modern world, this is already a voluntary choice. For example, the secretary obediently makes coffee for the boss, answers calls, and keeps the office clean. A courier who delivers food to the customer, a taxi driver who is ready to take almost any customer anywhere.
Is it humiliating? Of course not, it’s a regular job, no worse than dozens of other jobs that don’t require special skills. Visit. A F R I N I K . C O M . For the full article. It’s quite another thing to become a servant voluntarily. No one consciously makes such a choice. It all starts with the manifestation of quite healthy signs of attention.
For example, a special girl appears, and, of course, you will be courting. Anyway, you’ll try. Let’s say she has close friends who can potentially influence the decision to give you a chance at a relationship or refuse. To earn more points, you will try to be nice, courteous, and responsive to them. This is how a potential cavalier turns into a resigned servant. Relationships in a work team can be built similarly.
The signs of attention themselves, increased involvement in some process, and a desire to fulfill duties other than their official duties are rather positive traits. However, it’s up to you to make decisions when it’s appropriate and useful. Don’t try to please everyone; become everyone’s magic wand. It will definitely be appreciated, and it will certainly be used. In return, you will get nothing but new, increasingly difficult, and sometimes humiliating assignments.
3. You are not a simulator for eristics
There is a big difference between conversation, debate, and eristics. The first one takes place in a relaxed atmosphere: people just talk about something every day, while they pass the time. The second can be called a public exchange of thoughts, where the main goal is to find the truth. The parties speak out in turn, all participants listen to each other, and eventually come to a common opinion.
Eristics is an oratorical art developed by sophists back in ancient Greece. The purpose of the sophist (including the unconscious one) is to prove his case by using any means, even the dirtiest techniques, including insults and ridicule of the opponent. Such conversations never end in consolidation, no handshakes or mutual recognition.
Aristotle called the Erists liars and crooks. Perhaps you should listen to one of the most famous philosophers. Don’t let the other person cross the boundaries, and don’t cross them yourself. Knowing that you are facing a sophist (erist), do not accept the challenge. Remember that they don’t want to talk to you, but to arrange a demonstration duel with the sole purpose of belittling and ridiculing you.
4. You’re not mentally retarded
No one person can understand everything equally well. Some people focus their lives on work, while others have highly specialized interests without following the current agenda at all. Most of us take a middle position, where professional and personal interests mix, as well as general trends. However, there is no mandatory knowledge that every person must possess.
The exceptions, perhaps, are reading, counting, and writing. However, the latter is gradually becoming an anachronism. Modern people are much more likely to type, doing without pen and paper in everyday life. Once in a new company, you can feel disconnected.
Everyone around you is hotly discussing something completely unfamiliar to you and not at all interesting. Such a “white crow” will soon be viewed with suspicion, considered retarded in development. At some point, you can start to believe it. The worst course of action is the desire to conform. This is the fastest way to lose your identity and become part of the crowd.
