Forgive, but not forget: how do you manage to forgive someone?

Forgiving someone is not always easy. Especially not if that person left you hurt and disappointed. How can you forgive someone in such a situation? These tips will get you a long way.

Whether it’s relationship cheating, someone who lied to your face, someone who made hurtful statements or something else, being forgiving takes courage and energy. Yet forgiving someone is also liberating. It releases difficult feelings in you, and it allows you to put the past behind you.

5 tips to forgive someone

And with that knowledge in mind, we give 5 tips that make it easier to forgive someone.

Accept what happened

Whether it’s cheating or some other event that disappointed you, accept that facts have happened and they can’t be changed.

Also, accept how you have reacted to these events and realize that you cannot change this anymore. What happened has happened.

Check what you learned from it

Before you start talking about the other person, consider what the event made you see about yourself. What have you learned from this event?

Where are your limits? Which aspects of these events did you dislike so much, and which ones were less so? Realize that this kind of information is an important food for your self-knowledge and that this is useful information in future situations of conflict or disagreement.

Think about the other

Chances are you don’t see the other person very positively right now. You see him as an imperfect person who has made a mistake. And you know what? No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, which is exactly why things turned out the way they did.

Everyone sometimes acts from impulsiveness and, therefore, sometimes makes wrong choices. From this perspective, it is easier to understand why the other person has behaved in a certain way. After all, have you ever made a mistake?

Cultivate altruism

The best way to forgive someone is to view forgiveness as a gift you give to the other person, just as you would like to receive a gift yourself if you made a mistake.

In this way, you place forgiveness on a more abstract level, and you break free from the tunnel vision of your personal feelings.

Finally forgiving someone

Finally, decide whether you want to forgive the other person or not. If the answer to this question is yes, make it concrete. Say the words “I forgive you” and possibly explain why you were so hurt.

Does that mean you should forget what happened? Of course not. But by forgiving someone, you decide to stop letting feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment affect your life.

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