How to control your emotions during a difficult conversation
People will always be conversing with others, no matter what stage of life they are in. Furthermore, not every conversation and interaction will come naturally to us. However, success in a career and other aspects of life frequently depends on how diplomatic and skilled interlocutors we can be. You must carefully prepare for a difficult conversation and keep in mind a few important rules to successfully lead the discussion.
9 ways to control your emotions during a difficult conversation
1. Emotionally prepare yourself for the conversation
You will have the opportunity to mentally and emotionally ready yourself for a difficult conversation if it is scheduled in advance. You will first need to define exactly why you require this conversation and where you want it to take you.
It would help if you made an effort to make assumptions about the possible outcomes of situations in which you act without moderation. Will it contribute to the solution of the problem? Almost certainly not. As a result, you must train yourself to remain calm and to prepare some strong language that you will employ.
2. You should run through in your head the worst possible outcomes of the conversation
Before beginning a conversation, you should do your best to run through all the different outcomes you can imagine in your head, including the effects of the conversation that were the most upsetting. Therefore, not only will you have a comprehensive understanding of what is taking place, but you will also have the opportunity to prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario mentally. And this will help you better control your behavior and words when you’re excited and make it easier to deal with excitement.
3. Control your voice and expressions
It is simple to ascertain a person’s mental state by observing his or her tone of voice and mannerisms. If you do not want the person you are speaking with to pick up on your excitement, try not to raise the volume of your voice and expression in a relaxed manner.
It is important to remember that a clear voice and unhurried movements are signs that a person is self-assured in his position and will not back down from it. And training in front of a mirror in combination with self-discipline will assist in the formation of physical addiction to these strategies of behavior.
4. Calm yourself by counting to yourself
If the intensity of the discussion rises with each minute, you should permit yourself to take a brief break. You can help yourself relax by counting slowly to ten aloud to yourself. Concentrating on something straightforward and rational will assist the brain in switching gears and returning to normal breathing.
5. Remember that the person you are communicating with is just a regular person
When we have a controversial discussion with someone, we tend to idealize or demonize that person. However, having an overly positive or negative image of the person you are communicating with will only confuse you and prevent you from taking an objective view of the circumstances.
Focus on finding a solution to the conflict rather than coming up with labels to describe the other person.
6. Take a strong posture
Psychologists believe that a person’s posture during a conversation directly influences how that person feels about themselves and how others view them.
It is essential to strike a commanding position if one is to win the attention of the person with whom one is conversing and assume the role of the conversation’s leader. To accomplish this, you must ensure that your legs are firmly pressed to the floor, that your back is straight, and that your shoulders are also straight. When we have a solid foundation beneath us, it is much simpler for us to defend the position that we have taken. Additionally, your shoulders will feel larger and more stable if standing up straight.
7. Let go of your need to be perfect
Every aspect of one’s life can be negatively impacted by unhealthy perfectionism. The practice of critically evaluating oneself has an effect not only on one’s sense of self-worth but also on how one forms relationships with other people. If you want to come out on top of any conversation, even the most difficult one, you need to learn how to forgive yourself for some mistakes and admit that you’ve made them.
Keep in mind that there are no such things as perfect people. In addition, to keep your mental health in check, there are times when it is necessary to make concessions, not only to yourself but also to other people.
8. Plan a conversation in a comfortable and familiar location
Make the most of the opportunity if it presents itself to agree in advance on the setting of the difficult conversation that will take place and do so as soon as possible. One of the factors that can annoy a person and bring on feelings of nervousness and self-doubt is being in an environment that is either unfamiliar or unpleasant. You will be better able to concentrate on the conversation and feel at ease and assured if you stay in your normal place.
9. Consider the consequences of your actions
When our feelings of resentment or irritation reach the limit, it can cause us to lose our cool. However, in order to accomplish what you set out to do, it is essential to acquire the ability to control these self-destructive feelings. Therefore, before you say something offensive to another person or enter into an open confrontation with him, think about how such behavior will affect your immediate future and how it will impact your relationship with that person.
You can easily get out of various situations and resolve even the most difficult conflicts if you learn to remain mindful even when difficult times are occurring and do so consistently.