After experiencing the betrayal of a close friend or family member, you will always have reason to question the sincerity of people you allow to become close to you. Because you do not want to go through this agony once more, you will give in to your fear and allow it to guide your choices. It is important to keep in mind that the worry that one may be betrayed is absolutely baseless the majority of the time. Your lack of trust in others and excessive caution will only ever result in one thing: the ruin of truly healthy relationships with the people whose company you cherish and respect.
No one will be interested in hearing your unproven accusations, putting up with constant checks, observing how you question his intentions or seeing how you keep a safe distance from the person. We have compiled a list of suggestions to help you overcome your fear of the possibility that the person you care about will betray you. If you take advantage of at least half of the items on the list, you will find that the fear goes away.
1. Define your own personal limits
Even with the people closest to you, it is important to establish personal limits in your relationships. You have a responsibility to make it abundantly clear to the other person what aspects of his words and actions are acceptable to you and what aspects are not acceptable to you. Your interactions with him will become much easier as a result of this. You also instantly provide him with your definition of betrayal, which makes it more difficult for the person to find an explanation for his behavior in the case that your side makes any changes.
Establishing and maintaining healthy personal boundaries is an essential component of emotional and mental well-being for everyone. Acquire the habit of speaking in a manner as confident and pleasant as you are treated. In addition, you should not permit anyone to breach the rules that you have established, you should never excuse anyone, and you should never create an exception. People will typically start to take advantage of this and abuse your goodwill after a while.
2. Always prioritize your own needs
You are required to prioritize your wants, needs, and emotions. The other people in your life, including your parents, your friends, and your partner, are significant to you, but they are in no way more important than you are to yourself.
The aim is to protect yourself from being let down when you put your hopes in another person and do everything to make them happy. However, you may find that your efforts are ultimately unsuccessful. You may see his inaction as a form of betrayal, thinking that the person you care about doesn’t take your sickness seriously or doesn’t want to make an effort to find a solution to the challenges you face. But he is not required to carry out that responsibility either.
One is alone and always accountable for his or her own contentment, comfort, mental state, and no one else. The people in his immediate environment are in a position to assist him in some fashion, but they should not devote their efforts, time, or resources to making the life of another person better. It is best not to worry about the lack of attention and care from loved ones but rather to work on becoming the support that you are searching for in others. And as the last point, you should quit putting your money into other people; they are perfectly capable of looking after themselves. You are free to offer moral support or to wait to be asked for assistance before doing so.
3. Don’t get your hopes up regarding other people
People, in general, are pretty terrible at living up to expectations unless, of course, you take the initiative to do it for them. Despite how impolite it may sound, most of the blame for your dissatisfaction with the people around you lies with you. You give a person in your head an image that doesn’t reflect reality, assign them specific characteristics, and then expect their words and actions to live up to your image.
It is best to be as direct as possible when communicating your needs to those closest to you. Share with him the behaviors that make you feel uneasy, give him direction on how to interact with you during times of conflict, and work on having more frequent conversations about what each of you wants to get out of the relationship. This will assist you in dispelling illusions that are not necessary.
4. Stop comparing your current relationship to those you’ve had in the past
If you had a negative experience with your partner the last time and were dissatisfied with your choice, this does not imply that you should also transmit your displeasure to your new girlfriend. This piece of advice is highly applicable to the world of romantic relationships. Get out of comparing the new with the old; it’s an indisputable reality that people change throughout time. But as long as you continue to look for reasons why you shouldn’t trust your girlfriend, you won’t be able to cultivate a positive and healthy relationship.
If your girlfriend does not offer you any reason to suspect her of anything and all of your arguments are founded only on a sense of fear or distrust, then you should not hurry to express your concerns to the person, be jealous of them, or stop them from doing something. Their actions will only serve to destroy your relationship, as very few people are willing to put up with unjustified insults on their part. If you have an excessive number of worries that aren’t justified and if you just are unable to relax and put those worries out of your mind, you might want to think about making an appointment with a therapist. A conversation with an expert will assist you in putting everything in your thoughts in its proper place and will assist you in overcoming your anxieties.
5. Put your attention on yourself rather than on other people
No, seriously, even if someone betrays you, you will always have yourself. You can’t lose that. You have no power over the thoughts or deeds of other people, even if you try. However, you can make the most of the resources at your disposal to enhance your physical and mental capabilities. Stop relying on other people to make decisions for you, start living the life you’ve always dreamed of, start going to the gym, find a hobby to keep you busy in your spare time, etc. You will no longer feel the need to cling to other people in such a frantic manner since your life will eventually become rich and intriguing. You will start to rely on yourself, discover ways to entertain yourself and stop wasting time worrying about pointless things.
When you view another person as your savior—an escape from boredom, laziness, or loneliness—there is a greater likelihood that you will harbor suspicious thoughts about that other. When things like the ones described above no longer frighten you, you will experience a sense of liberation in every word’s meaning. You will stop putting your loved ones through honesty tests, stop tormenting yourself and others with suspicion, and stop being frightened to allow them to get near to you. You will stop doing all of these things. You will realize that regardless of the result of your relationship, it will not be a tragedy; yes, you will experience pain, but you will learn to deal with your feelings and on with the rest of your life.