What to do if your partner is upset but won’t tell you why
You inquire why your partner is upset, but he refuses to discuss it or remains silent. It is not always obvious which course of action to take, whether attempting to assist him or simply leaving him alone. In the following article, we have compiled a list of suggestions that will help you support your partner, even if he is not yet ready to discuss the factors contributing to his sadness.
1. Admits and acknowledges his feelings
You must show that you do not judge your partner for their negative emotions if they avoid discussing what upset them. It would help if you told him that you’ve observed that he appears depressed and anxious about something. And that you are always willing to talk to him about it and stand by his side regardless of the circumstances.
But you shouldn’t push for a conversation; if someone isn’t willing to bring up a topic for discussion on their own, they may have a valid reason for not wanting to do so.
Do not pass judgment on your partner, and under no circumstances should you criticize or blame him. This will only worsen his frustration and increase the likelihood that he won’t be willing to open up to you at all.
Also, do not minimize the gravity of his problems by affirming that the circumstances of other people’s lives are significantly more difficult. Or that he magnifies the significance of every minor issue. So you prove not only a lack of interest in assisting him but also a failure to take his experiences seriously.
Another thing you shouldn’t do in this situation is try to cheer up your partner or make him feel better in any way, shape, or form. It is doubtful that he will recognize an attempt to improve his well-being through the use of humor. A partner may interpret your actions as undervaluing or trying to downplay his feelings.
2. Give it time
There are many different reasons why people do not want to discuss what caused them to feel upset. It is not easy for a person to admit that they have done something wrong, that they have a complex, or that they have made mistakes. People don’t want to bother us with their issues for whatever reason.
You shouldn’t put pressure on your partner no matter the reason for the silence; instead, you should try as hard as you can to figure out what took place. It is in everyone’s best interest to give him space to think about what happened and deal with how he feels.
Take into account the fact that many enraged individuals choose not to communicate with us simply because they are unsure how to convey the information to us properly. And the time we give them to be alone with their problem can help them better formulate it, making it easier for them to talk about it when the time comes.
3. Kind acts toward him should not be ignored
It was mentioned that it is not worth trying to cheer up a partner who is upset. Do something nice for him that demonstrates that you care and support him rather than saying it.
Make pizza for dinner if he likes it. Please make an offer to go for a walk with your partner in a park that they enjoy going to. Please don’t forget to leave a note telling him how much you love him.
It will be easier to deal with negative feelings if you take actions that will make your partner laugh and feel as though he is not alone in his experiences. Avoid saying, “I’m trying to cheer you up by doing this.” Give these actions a chance to speak for themselves. Additionally, if you do not focus on them, you will not appear intrusive or demanding of explanations. This is because you will not be focusing on them.
4. Maintain a positive outlook whenever you can
Every person has their own unique set of experiences and emotions. In addition, it is unhealthy for romantic partners to be emotionally dependent on one another. Don’t let this make you miserable or give the impression that you’re upset simply because your partner is experiencing these emotions.
There is no reason to pretend otherwise if you were in a good mood when you woke up or are happy with how the day turned out for you. Optimism, on the other hand, has its limits; not all distressed individuals are comforted when the person sitting next to them makes a concerted effort to lift the mood around them and share how they are feeling with them, even if they do so with all their might.
Do not use phrases such as “You need to look for the positive in everything” or “After some time, this will seem like a trifle.” Instead, say something more encouraging and constructive. They can impart to the partner the sense that his emotions are inappropriate and embarrassing for him. This kind of toxic positivity demonstrates an inability to empathize with others’ experiences and a lack of desire to offer support.
5. Take some responsibility
When a person is upset, they may experience melancholy, apathy, and fatigue. Focusing on one’s experiences and making plans for how to address one’s challenges can make it challenging for some individuals to fulfill their day-to-day and professional responsibilities and lead a normal life. This is especially true when the individual is also attempting to find solutions to their challenges.
You can provide emotional support to an upset partner by taking on some of his responsibilities in the short term. Although it is highly unlikely that you will be able to help him with work-related matters, you should have no problem handling household responsibilities on your own.
For instance, if he routinely takes out the trash and walks his dog in the evenings, you should start doing those things for him instead. These sorts of things are easily achievable and can show that you are attempting to assist him in a challenging circumstance.