The coronavirus pandemic has put many relationships at risk of breaking up. It turns out that being in a confined space with each other is not so easy. Relationships can often be saved. But sometimes, the patient is more dead than alive.
How to understand that a relationship cannot be saved?
When people get married, each of them hopes that it will be forever. A happy life is every person’s dream. However, life lasts a long time, and we are faced with different situations – sometimes not very joyful. Not all couples successfully overcome crises and get out of the deadlock of everyday problems. A frequent companion of marriage, in which people are not very suitable for each other, is aggression, misunderstanding, irritation. More and more often, I want to stay at home alone, to be alone with myself. Let’s look at a relationship crisis under a magnifying glass and find the symptoms of a dying relationship.
Contempt and ridicule
Take a closer look at your partner’s reactions. Are your worries only causing him a scornful grin? Do you feel no sympathy on his part? Does your problem seem stupid to him? Well, this is a reason to think seriously. But relations cannot be viewed only from the position of one spouse. Analyze your reactions as well. Special attention should be paid to the facial expressions of the partner. Smiles become less frequent, and irritation grows.
The mood gets worse; your words hit a wall of contempt and discontent. Moments that you take seriously are ridiculed and questioned by your loved ones. You are no longer allowed into the inner world and the life of a once-loved one. All these are alarm bells that say: marriage is heading for divorce.
Criticizing each other
If the relationship is on the brink of a foul, then constant criticism of each other is inevitable. The husband is not satisfied with cooking, ironing, cleaning the house. He has little attention, does not like the behavior, appearance, manners of his wife. The spouse, in turn, is annoyed by snoring, scattered socks, and her husband’s low earnings. This is, of course, a textbook example. It is not necessary to talk about such a distribution of roles at home.
Criticism can flare up from any spark and for any reason. It would seem: Is this a problem if people love each other? Isn’t it possible to be reconciled with such trifles? But even the little things become an insurmountable obstacle when there is nothing more to take from the relationship.
At first glance, harmless criticism sometimes turns into attacks. This is another symptom of the impending end of a marriage. Here, let’s say you are guilty. But don’t rush to apologize. And why? And you don’t know yourself. You don’t want to be humiliated. You think this is beneath your dignity.
On the contrary, you will begin to attack your partner, giving dozens of examples of your righteousness. Hardly any of you will make concessions in such a situation. Moreover, you will incessantly stab each other, hurt each other, until finally, someone comes out of the quarrel as a winner.
If the relationship has exhausted itself, then communication is reduced to a minimum. There is no more discussion of important things to each other; no one shares thoughts, impressions, worries, joys. The maximum that remains in such a family is the discussion of everyday issues. You lose interest in each other. No longer wondering how your partner’s day went, what is new for him, how he lives. It is as if your worlds have become autonomous.
There is no diffusion of feelings, reciprocity. Gone are the long conversations before bedtime, jokes, laughter over a teacup, romance over a glass of wine. And the glitter from the eyes disappeared somewhere. A cold emptiness has come. This is scary. You are no longer husband and wife; you are just roommates, strangers, by chance, locked in the same territory.
Lack of common plans
Have you noticed that you no longer make common plans with your soul mate? Planning a vacation? Do you dream about the future? Don’t make big purchases? Sometimes the thought even creeps into your head that you need to prepare a “safety cushion” in case of divorce. And okay, there are plans … you don’t even spend enough time together. No movie watching, no going to the theater, cafe, concert. Nothing. Your husband does not offer to go to relatives out of town, spend a weekend or a holiday in a noisy family company. On the contrary: your interaction style is based on avoiding each other as often as possible.
Loss of s*x drive
Yes, and now about the delicate one. Intimate life and romance, loving touch plays an essential role in a relationship. Hugs, kisses, touches – all this indicates an interest in each other and passion between you. Intimacy starts from the physical plane and extends to the spiritual plane. Think about whether you have any problems in your intimate life? How long have you spent a whole night awake?
Moreover, s*xual dissatisfaction in marriage leads to the fact that each spouse begins to seek this satisfaction on the side. And infidelity is usually very distant, pushing partners away from each other. And as a result, the marriage falls apart.
Opportunity to live outside of marriage
A sign that a relationship is losing relevance to you is a clear realization that life continues after marriage (and outside of marriage). Can you imagine that one day you will wake up in a different apartment with a different person? If so, then know: this is a wake-up call that the relationship is about to end. But how do you feel about it? If you feel calm and even joyful, then wait for a divorce.
Feelings of anxiety and danger
The last symptom of a fading marriage is anxiety, danger, fear in your own home. Are you constantly expecting a dirty trick, aggression, abuse, rudeness from your partner? This is no accident. It is impossible to live under constant stress for too long. And if attacks and irritation reach the limit, then domestic violence is just a stone’s throw away.
Family and marriage are designed to protect two people, give birth to a new life, give a sense of security and stability, and most importantly, completeness. If this is not the case, then is it necessary to continue the relationship?