Nowadays, it is fashionable to create successful success courses, where the “lecturer” talks about how to achieve everything while reciting mantras at the level of “I am the lord of the universe”. There are other courses where students are not exalted by putting pressure on their ego, but on the contrary, they conduct a rigid deconstruction of personality, humiliating and trampling into the mud. Thus, allegedly, people are shown how insignificant they are, forcing them to change.
Both options are complete nonsense. In fact, it is enough to realize a few brutal truths to really become tougher and understand this world. It will save you time, nerves and will not cost you a ruble.
If you are afraid to fail— you will end up a loser
We will not talk for the hundredth time about getting out of the comfort zone because most people are far from this mythical place and constantly experience stress and inconvenience. But being afraid to fail is a path to nowhere.
If your knees are constantly shaking when you realize that you need to change, adapt, and you will not do anything, then you will stay where you are. In addition, you will spend your whole life wondering “What if…?”, thinking how your life would have turned out if you had then started to act and change yourself.
Are you afraid of new acquaintances — you will be left alone
A lot of people in modern society are sinking deeper into social phobia or withdrawing from society by going online. If you are one of these, afraid of new acquaintances, or avoid them, then do not complain that your only interlocutor is the same gamer from an online game or your cat. Plunging into this abyss of antisociality, you risk being left alone and then regret all your life that you did not approach that girl, did not tell a joke at a corporate party that would bring you closer to your colleagues, did not go to a concert with your friends, and so on.
Understand that not everyone around is a complete scoundrel who only wants to humiliate you, rob you to the skin, or hurt you. This is only a small, the worst part of society. Most people are good, just like you.
If you are afraid to offend with unpleasant words— you will remain a guided person
Many people try to seem good to everyone but believe me, it’s impossible. Your attempts to restrain yourself, to suppress your point of view where it is safe and even useful to express it — this is the way to a downtrodden insignificant being who can only agree. When you realize that we are all different and that sometimes you have to tell people something that they don’t like, which is true, you will get out of this vicious circle of seeking approval.
If you want everyone to agree with you – you will feel the bitterness of rejection
We have already said more than once that we are all different. Someone may not take you to the spirit just because of one word you once threw, which you won’t even remember. And there will always be a person who will disagree with you, even if you are 100% right. In addition, do not forget that you are not the light of truth, and you cannot always be right because the world does not revolve around you. Realize that most people don’t really care about your point of view, no matter how truthful it may be, and don’t get excited in vain.
If you postpone things for later— you will miss life
Procrastination is one of the main enemies of humanity in the 21st century. Many people voluntarily give themselves into the clutches of this terrible creature, the destroyer of hopes and dreams. You can give your time to this feeling, postpone things for later, spend resources on completely empty things like social networks, watching memes, computer games, TV shows, and alcoholic parties. Anything to delay important things a little longer that will help you climb higher on the social ladder or at least avoid problems. In this case, do not be surprised that, on the contrary, you will find yourself on the social bottom.
It’s going to sound rude, but you should get your butt out of the chair and start doing it. The most difficult thing is to start because the fear of novelty is a serious brake. Once you start, you will realize that the task, though difficult, is doable.
You think that your life sucks — it will become so
Another problem of modern society is self—flagellation. Almost everyone feels like the most unhappy person on the planet. But the truth of life is that your life is already much better than that of at least a billion people because you are reading these lines from a smartphone or computer, sitting warm, well-fed, and having time to rest. Be grateful for what you have, even if it’s not enough for you. Strive for more, don’t stop in one place. Instead of whining about how unhappy you are, use your energy to eliminate this condition.
No one will help you become stronger and gain invaluable experience – it depends only on your efforts
Why do many people fall for successful success courses? They are trying to find a guru there, someone who will give them all the answers, direct them in the right direction, and everything will go right away. But the harsh reality is that the only one who can really inspire you to change is yourself.
You can read dozens of books about successful success, attend expensive lectures, and so on, but it will only be a set of letters. The main thing is your own real-life experience. Be patient and get ready for the fact that there will be a lot of rakes on your way, stepping on which you will receive. But it’s worth it.
There will always be problems — you won’t be able to solve them all
A lot of people try to become something like noble knights, believing that they owe someone. Someone performs his function as a paladin in relation to relatives who once helped him, and now he feels obliged to the end of his life. Others are pressured by the state of a kind of duty to others, those who are worse off than them. Trying to solve all the problems, they sort of clean up their karma.
But understand, you can’t help the whole world. Moreover, you will not be able to help even most of your loved ones without taking off your last shirt. Realize this, and life will become easier, because the constant stress of feeling imaginary uselessness will not lead to anything good.
You are not perfect — there will always be people better than you
The rough truth of life is that you have a lot of flaws, and there will always be someone who will do the job better than you, even if you consider yourself an expert in it. And no, this is not a way to belittle your abilities and trample into the dirt, as various coaches do, but a statement of fact. The point is to protect you from useless attempts and frustration because someone is better than you in something.
Realizing this, you will understand that the ideal is the enemy of the good and that the ideal is an unattainable thing. So it’s enough just to be a good specialist in your field and stop being stressed every time someone shows the best results. Just be yourself, strive for the best, but not for perfection.