People tend to show compassion and support their loved ones and friends, and just a stranger. Without mutual assistance and hope for help, people who experience grief would find it much more difficult to get out of their painful state. Not everyone can find the words to express their compassion, but your presence will say more prepared phrases.
Having no way to support the person in grief personally, call and say words of sympathy. The main thing is that they sound sincere. Be sure to ask if you need help. The emotional state of the grieving person does not always allow him to assess what he is told adequately. The intonation of the voice, the rhythm of the words is important, it has a hypnotic effect on a person and soothes him.
It is not words that support, but the willingness to help and protect. Just being with a person in difficult times is valuable in itself. You know the universal words of support that usually say: “I’m sorry”, “I feel sorry for”, “In time, everything will pass”, “Time heals”, and similar expressions. But by themselves, they cannot calm a person if he does not feel sincere participation.
Before you say anything, think about what would comfort you in such a situation. A person needs to somehow “hook” on the future to show a new goal to which he will strive. A woman abandoned by her husband after twenty years of marriage feels that her life is over. She does not see the meaning in life and needs not just support, but in a concrete plan, how to get out of this situation with dignity.
There is no need to say the words “Calm down; everything will pass”; there is no future in them. At forty or fifty years old, we can say that a woman is just beginning to live for herself, raising and arranging children. At this age, having rich life experience, it is much easier to choose a person with whom she will live a happy life. Suggest a joint shopping and beauty trip so that the abandoned wife can meet her fate fully armed.
If a close friend has died, be there and help organize the funeral. Sometimes a person can be brought out of despair by posing a series of questions and tasks that need to be addressed. Talk about the fact that close friends need him, his support. Draw his attention to the fact that he also has to help his relatives. Taking on the role of a comforter, the friend himself will find words of support and feel responsible for the family.
Sometimes it is enough to say: “I am always with you, no matter what happens!”. These words can be said without waiting for something terrible to happen.