Life repeating patterns can be similar to “Groundhog Day” – they are repeated with enviable frequency and pass almost the same way. And some of them should be resolved as soon as possible because they can damage relationships, self-esteem or well-being. You will learn about what life patterns need to be overcome and the methods that will help in this from this article.
1. The same disagreements with a partner
Fights happen for a variety of reasons and happen in any relationship. But if they appear for the same reason, it becomes a pattern.
To deal with this pattern, you need to understand why it appeared. Often, this is because one of the partners does not want to change their behaviour or believes this is unnecessary. There are also situations when the same quarrels are a way to defend one’s innocence.
Also, disagreements occur when couples do not know how to resolve conflicts properly. To achieve mutual understanding and overcome patterns of quarrels, it is necessary:
- look for a solution to the problem, not the one who is to blame;
- focus on the current situation, not past mistakes;
- do not use criticism, generalization and rude words in a conversation with a partner;
- Listen and hear each other, and offer several options for solving the problem to come to the one that suits everyone.
2. Financial difficulties
You give out debts and hope you won’t borrow any more money. But then you have to do it again and again. Or you are going to set aside a certain amount per month, but once again it does not work out, because there is not enough money before the salary.
Financial problems are another common life pattern. It often occurs because people do not monitor their finances enough, plan expenses poorly, and analyze the state of affairs.
To overcome this pattern, you need to structure your finances and define the goals you want to achieve.
3. Failure to achieve goals
You start a business and fail. Then you try something else, and you get the same result. It seems that any goal you set will fail. This pattern is bad for finances, career or hobbies, and the psyche because it makes you feel like a failure.
It is important to understand the reasons why this is happening. There are several answers to this question:
You set too voluminous and unrealistic tasks
It is impossible to lose 30 kg in a month, just like writing a novel in one day. Of course, these are exaggerated examples, but they show unrealistic goals well. It is important to set a task for yourself in such a way that it has a reasonable time frame with the available resources. For example, losing 30 kg in a year is quite realistic, just like writing a novel at the same time.
You can also divide global goals into smaller ones: write 10 pages daily or lose 2.5 kg per month.
You don’t analyze mistakes
When you have failed, it is important to analyze the mistakes and not just give up. Think about what led to this outcome. You can write down all the nuances and ways to avoid them to be fully equipped next time.
You are distracted from the intended goal
Imagine that you want to save a certain amount in a month. To do this, you must save and not spend money on unnecessary things. But as you walked past the store, you couldn’t resist making an impulsive purchase. And here again, it was impossible to accumulate as much as necessary.
Distraction to unimportant factors is a common problem of not achieving goals. It is important to focus on a specific case and not on fleeting trifles; then, you can turn your plans into reality.
4. Postponing things for later
Everyone has experienced this situation at least once in their life. You put off one thing for later, then the second, leading to a snowball you need to get rid of.
Here are some tips to help you deal with procrastination:
- make schedules and lists to distribute cases and workload evenly;
- think about what the consequences will be if you do not solve the problem;
- break a big task into several small ones and do it gradually;
- create yourself a reward for the work done to get additional motivation;
- limit what can distract you.
Addiction is not only about overeating, drinking and smoking. You can be attached to different things: a smartphone, shopping, sex, and even self-care.
In addition, methods for solving the problem depend on the type of addiction. How a person refuses alcohol or refrains from unjustified purchases is different. In any case, if you can’t cope with addiction, it is better to seek help from a doctor and enlist the support of loved ones.