Many of us have asked the question at least once: How to become happy? There are many answers, often contradictory: a successful career, successful marriage or marriage, a well-paid job, the opportunity to travel, the health of loved ones and one’s own, the success of children, and the like. The formula for happiness is seemingly simple but not always easily attainable.
If you ask the question differently: What prevents you from being happy? Agree; it sounds more specific. In this situation, a person thinks more about the psychological problem within himself and searches in the correct direction. After all, it would help if you started with yourself.
Analyzing your inner world and the hidden corners of the soul, you can make a lot of discoveries, albeit unpleasant. There are psychological barriers that prevent a person from being happy. There are fifteen of them:
15 things to give up to be happy
Happy is he who does not know this feeling, like rust that eats away at the symbolic heart of a person. No matter how much he has, envy deprives you of sleep and peace and even pushes you to crime.
Solution: contentment with yours!
Even without envying anyone but having a tendency to desire more, a person condemns himself to eternal dissatisfaction with his life. And he wants more of everything. In the end, greed takes on extreme forms of hoarding, turning a person into a moral monster.
Solution: contentment with having everything you need for life!
It is rightly said: Resentment lives in the heart of fools because this feeling harms, first of all, the most offended one. Often, resentment hatches a plan of revenge, separates loved ones forever, destroys good relations.
Solution: Forgive generously, remembering that we all offend someone and need forgiveness.
Not to be confused with pride! It is okay to be reasonably proud of something or someone! When the line of reason is erased, and pride turns into pride? When a person begins to feel superior to others. This prevents him from adequately assessing himself; there is confidence in his infallibility. Relationships with others will begin to change not for the better, because who will like it when they look at you as second-rate?
Solution: humbly realize that success is a temporary matter.
Have you heard: “The boldness of the city takes”? Someone takes shyness for modesty, but this is not so. A modest person is aware of his limits, and a timid person is afraid to approach the limits of his capabilities. A synonym for timidity is cowardice.
A person is constrained by a feeling of self-doubt, fear of the new, the fear of not being like everyone else. With such a quality of character, you can’t go anywhere at all.
Solution: Set small (simple, manageable) goals on your way to big.
There is such a category of society. They say about themselves that they have “everything, not like people.” Constant self-criticism is firmly rooted in their heads, and their failures are perceived as a pattern, and the success of the case is an exception to the rule. Therefore, they are often unable to take decisive measures in changing their lives, as they are pre-determined to fail. Solution: Don’t compare yourself to others in any way. You have your own life.
A destructive feeling that blinds the mind. In its extreme form, it is like madness. A jealous person sees something that does not exist in reality. He is suspicious of sounds, smells, clock hands. He harasses his other half, nullifying all good feelings because a normal person cannot live in such a nightmare.
Solution: learn to trust, put yourself in the place of the jealous person, understand his feelings.
8. Regret about the past
It has been written about it – it has been rewritten. Here’s an example: Don’t look back; nothing has changed there. Regret about what has been done or what has not been done is a dark cloud overshadowing all the good that is and will be. It’s like poison, drop by drop, poisons life.
Solution: heed the advice of psychologists and do not blame yourself because the past cannot be changed. Better not to make mistakes in the present.
For some, such a position in life is a beautiful thing. There is something painfully sacred in her before those around her bow down and elevate her to a heroic pedestal. There are situations when self-sacrifice is dictated by circumstances and looks quite natural as a vital necessity. But it often happens that someone has chosen self-sacrifice as a life principle, even when no one needs it.
Solution: Do not carry someone else’s load if no one needs it. Let others live their lives with all the difficulties, not decide for them, taking everything upon yourself.
10. Desire to please
A common occurrence. To please, to be appreciated, accepted into a certain society, to please others … But it is impossible to please everyone! Someone will always not understand, appreciate and condemn. And if for this you have to step over yourself as a person? An internal conflict will sooner or later follow this.
Solution: substitute a friendly shoulder if necessary, without imposing your help on anyone. The support provided at the right time will delight both parties.
Today, only the lazy do not criticize. Everyone knows and knows everything, even without the necessary knowledge and skills. The critic treats everything with distrust; he is ready to challenge an opinion that differs from him at any moment. This is often annoying to others because their point of view is not taken into account. The critic faces misunderstanding, takes offense, suffers.
Solution: let the shoemaker shake the boots, and the pastry chef bakes the pies!
A distrustful person doubts everyone, even does not always trust himself. Often rushes about in making decisions and, having made one, doubts his choice. He consults with someone and is reinsured, checking with a number of a whole team of advisors. Bustle!
Solution: give yourself and others the right to make mistakes and not see the end of the world in it.
It’s okay to worry. People worry when they solve problems that have arisen or about the well-being of loved ones if something is threatening them. Excessive anxiety destroys normal life: sleep, appetite, mood, etc., are disturbed. What does excessive mean?
The problem has not yet arrived, and the person has already painted gloomy pictures in his imagination and brings himself to anxiety, which turns into chronic anxiety.
Solution: The problem can be prevented but not imagined or exaggerated.
“Whoever believes in superstition becomes their slave.” The words are not mine but accurate. A superstitious person is afraid to take an extra step and lives with an eye on not doing something. Failures and troubles are attributed to actions that they committed in defiance of superstition or not committed in accordance with it.
Solution: assess the situation soberly; there are always reasonable explanations for the phenomena. Stop collecting superstitions, and they will disappear first from your consciousness, then from life.
“Do not create an idol for yourself.” The golden words of Holy Scripture. It is especially important for young people: they lack personal experience; therefore, they are attracted by successful, extraordinary personalities. It passes over time, but it can acquire extreme forms of behavior. Such a person does not live his life, joys, and sorrows.
Solution: Remember that each person is unique. Set personal goals, build your life without copying anyone.
As you can see, psychological problems prevent a person from becoming happy. It is worth studying yourself: thoughts, habits, deeds. Perhaps someone will see himself in the article. Then you have something to work on, and a lasting feeling of happiness will become a constant companion of the mood. Good luck!