Each person has an individual separation process, no matter who says anything about the commonality of the problem. Therefore, there is no ready-made solution to the problem. That is why there is a problem in principle. Different backgrounds, views, interests, reasons why partners can no longer coexist – there can be a lot of reasons. And if a breakup became the solution for you, at any stage of your relationship, try to remember several recommendations that will make your task easier, help you survive this event and never come back.
9 tips on how to handle a breakup with dignity
Leaving
To begin with, understand and put it in your head that this is forever. Do everything possible so that there is no opportunity at the moment of an emotional impulse to take a step back and deviate from the decision. Since you have already reached the stage of accepting such thoughts, most likely, you are ready for the final.
In most cases, your decision comes as a surprise to your partner and activates his attempts to maintain the relationship. During this period, one must remember that by maintaining the firmness and not succumbing to the temptation to leave everything as it is, you only aggravate the situation, deceiving yourself and your partner. The mechanism has started.
Understand the reason
Why are you leaving? Exhale and calmly, without emotions, speak with yourself a clear and understandable reason – why you made such a decision. It cannot be “love has passed” or “it’s not about you, it’s about me …”.
This should be a clear and understandable formulation, in which there are no double meanings, far-fetched arguments, long bickering and self-examination. This should be a clear and understandable thought, upon hearing which, your partner would hear one simple thought – I am leaving, and this is the final decision. Show respect.
Go without accusations
When explaining the reasons for your decision, try to avoid accusations. To your “and you are so and so,” you will hear the same in response. Tubes of unresolved issues will pour over each other.
If your partner has taken a “weak” position and reacted to your words like this, you should not succumb to provocations and react accordingly.
Even if everything is true, the thought should not remain in your head that “if you had changed/changed now, then, of course, I would have acted / otherwise.”
No. You have an informed decision that does not depend on the outcome of the conversation. Be stronger, remember that, first of all, in front of you is a person who gave you a lot of good things.
General rehearsal
Improvisation must be prepared. You are confident in your decision, know all the arguments, and are ready for a dialogue, but do not hesitate to say it all out loud.
Someone recommends prescribing the main points, arguing that more capacious formulations come to mind in this way and are stored in memory.
This is very important in especially emotional moments of your dialogue when there is a ringing void in your head, and the dialogue must be continued. There is a chance that the conversation will generally not go according to the planned course. In this case, memory will helpfully give you arguments from the subcortex.
Memories
This is a difficult period with which you will have to live a very indefinite period. From conversations, environment, computer, phone, social networks, it is necessary to remove all hints of a person’s presence.
You don’t need to change the statuses on your social media page every day, regretting or scolding your ex. You are an adult. And besides, so you make it clear about your unquenchable feelings for a person. You do not need it.
Do it in a new place
It is understandable why it is necessary to part in an unknown place for both of you. But just in case, I will explain my idea. None of “your” places should remain in the memory of one of you as “the place where we parted.
” Let this point on the map become a place that you will never remember and will not associate with your couple.
There can be no “Let’s stay friends”
“Our dog is dead, but let it lie here with us.” This is absurd! How can you be friends with a person you once trusted with your life, and now you broke up. It doesn’t matter for whatever reason.
And where does the friendship between exes end and relationships begin? Don’t provoke yourself into possibly turning your relationship into a circus.
Don’t offer to be friends. This is weird and ridiculous. Unless it carries an exclusively communicative load, explain to your partner that you are simply lying, and “we will remain friends” in this case, this is a form of speech.
You have to live separately
It is obvious. It is impossible in the morning to say that love has passed, and in the evening there is food at the same table. And sleep in the same bed at night. Therefore, before you voice your thoughts directly, finally and irrevocably, find yourself a way to retreat. Or the path to the retreat of a partner.
If you are serious about resolving this issue yourself and in advance, this is the only way you can count on this relationship to end. Otherwise, it is self-indulgence and lack of emotion.
Find something to your liking
It can be anything from baking to twerking. Load yourself up with emotional unloading events and rebuild your life schedule: less loneliness and more active events.
Only in this way can you emerge from one relationship with virtually no loss and just as calmly plunge into new ones.
