You had fantastic s*x, no one could make you laugh as he could, and she cooks food better than your mother. However, you ended your relationship. Time passed, and you even agreed whether or not to steal silver spoons at a party – in the sense that you no longer slept together but will continue to speak. It still won’t work.
We compiled a list of 8 things to say and do when you’re with your ex-girlfriends or boyfriends – and then there’s a chance you’ll be able to have a good time drinking beer on Fridays, going to the movies on occasion, and sending each other funny pictures on Facebook chat without fear of being falsely accused.
Dating when you’ve just ended a relationship
She abandoned you with a particularly brutal abandonment, and your friends are still sleeping underneath a high-rise building balcony – and here, and even more former ex-girlfriend called for coffee. And she sits there, all lovely, sipping her coffee and laughing at your most inane comments.
An unstable emotional state plus a desire to raise a collapsed self-esteem equals – attention, now there will be s*x! And you, damn it, wanted to be friends.
“Can you recall how we…”
You kissed on the Palace Square, shared one plate of food for two, and wept at the same time to love song, and it was adorable! However, the important phrase here is “it was,” not “cute.”
Don’t bring up past actions if you don’t want to poke each other with a stick in their wounds. Everyone’s lives will be made simpler as a result.
Inquiring about your situation
What if you are unable to do so? You’re doing great, but he’s on his own. He listens to you, nods, and has a sad, sad expression on his face. And, God forbid, he begins talking about how sorry he was for losing you back then. It will be either embarrassing or – what the hell is not kidding! – according to the scenario already described in the first paragraph.
Describe your trip in pursuit of your new interest
Alternatively, you might have joined the gym together. Alternatively, you might have purchased a motorbike. With a history of your ex-girlfriend (or ex-boyfriend) dreaming of travelling or going to the gym together for the whole three years you were together, which you rejected with the skill of the devil’s advocate.
And then there was that – and it turned out that the issue wasn’t your inherent reluctance to pump muscle, but rather the company’s lacklustre performance.
Complain about life
Of course, your present partner may be a total jerk at times. So it seems to you. And I truly want assurance that sure, you can’t act like that at all, simply like cattle. Over a large glass of wine, tell your closest buddy about it. Or an old acquaintance.
And the ex should not be given another excuse to compare themselves to your present partner
Take out a loan
Everyone encounters difficult circumstances at some point in their lives. And if you ask your ex-partner for a loan of, say, $3,000, he is unlikely to say no.
But you will deliver him this money on the agreed-upon day – and he will say: come on, forget it, remembering that you previously shared a budget and that you are not strangers to each other, for example. You may either forget it or give it away, but everyone will be humiliated again.
Invite to visit
“Come spend Christmas Day with us; Rita will make pies!” There are, without a doubt, exceptions. It’s possible that you broke up so long ago and stopped loving one other so fully that you no longer see your ex as anything more than a classmate (for example).
Then you are unconcerned with social scrolling. However, eating pies for Cars while simultaneously driving away thoughts of how you ate pizza with him is not always the most enjoyable way to spend Christmas Day. Any other day too.
Find out the relationship
He did not mention how good you look; she forgot to congratulate you on your dissertation defence – and you were offended. And then they started asking questions: Do I look bad? Why didn’t you congratulate me? Forgot? Here you are forever … – and off we go.
Screw on the fountain of your eloquence. Well, really. Leave the search for forgetfulness catalysts to their present. Now it’s up to them. And you are just friends.