Since childhood, you have been instructed to be a nice guy, an altruist, and a gentleman. These are really good attributes, but they can only exist in an ideal society. They have no place in the harsh reality of a world in which man eats man, and most people are motivated by the pursuit of personal gain.
In this kind of world, being a nice guy is an idea that has been purposefully disproved, which, even though it provides emotional fulfilment, is more of a detriment than an advantage. Naturally, this is not a justification for going to extremes or becoming a scoundrel in any way, shape, or form. Being more resilient is necessary to prevent life from passing you by. This is how the nice guy syndrome is hurting your life.
1. You live for the good of others
One more time, selflessness is a commendable quality. When you start taking off your last shirt to help other people who supposedly need it more, this is when problems start to arise. Because of your need to be a nice guy and your desire to please everyone, you find that you end up living for other people rather than for yourself. When you are constantly busy “serving” other people, whether to bring them comfort or joy, life slips away from you.
You “plough” on other people even more due to the fear that someone will be dissatisfied with you or categorically disagree with you. This causes you to exhaust yourself both physically and mentally. It is necessary to forego one’s pursuits and aspirations to fulfil one’s “job” responsibilities and serve the needs of others.
2. Your life is not moving forward at all
When they are serving the needs of others, nice guys put themselves last on their list of priorities. Even if you are attempting to work on your own life and the life of another person, you will still need to be distracted by another request for help, and you will only be able to return to your business once you have completed the task.
You will find that you must repeatedly return to the initial location to continue with the procedure. When you do not move, you eventually take root in the unappreciative soil, leading to your condition stagnating. This creates a kind of vicious circle.
3. You feel powerless and helpless
A paradox exists in that a nice guy, even when doing the right thing, feels less satisfied than a bad guy who only causes harm. This is true even when the nice guy is acting by moral principles. Why? It’s all about having moral principles, being altruistic, and other positive qualities that make you constantly feel down in the dumps, as if you haven’t done enough for society, even if that’s not the case.
What bearing does it have on a person whose heart is cold and whose thoughts are only focused on the wish to improve his own level of comfort? What value does the rest of the world have? He doesn’t give a damn about anything, so he lives in perfect harmony with himself. We do not envy you if you suffer from the nice guy syndrome. When you look at people who are unable to care for themselves, beggars who are in difficult situations, and so on, you occasionally feel powerless and helpless. Because it is difficult for you to accept that the world is an unfair place, you feel these negative emotions. This is the root cause of your feelings.
4. They are always looking for opportunities to take advantage of you
The perception of the nice guy as a convenient person and possibly even an executive robot is one of the most devastating effects of the nice guy syndrome. Realize that being kind to others and paying attention to them is very beneficial, especially in this day and age when selfishness is encouraged from every direction.
Because you are so focused on making those around you happy, you fail to notice when others who could have managed without your assistance begin to take advantage of you for their own ends. It is simple to manipulate you by appealing to your sense of pity or, if that doesn’t work, by putting pressure on you. This is because of your strong desire for justice and assistance.
5. You regularly find yourself in the friend zone
Relationships are worth working for, despite what other people might say. The person who comes out on top of this competition takes everything, while the loser is cast as a humiliating figure in the annals of history. The fight for a girl’s attention is the first challenge that a person who suffers from nice guy syndrome cannot overcome. The reality is that a “nice” guy can’t make another “candidate” look less advantageous in the eyes of a girl because he will harm him in this way, and that’s something that can’t be allowed to happen.
A decent person cannot give the impression of being tough or resort to excessive force when the situation calls for it. We do not mean physical violence when we refer to brute force; rather, we mean the rigidity of character, the ability to ward off an opponent and impress a girl with your strength of spirit by demonstrating that you can and want to fight for her.
A nice guy will almost always end up in the friend zo when there is no such struggle. This is true in 99 percent of all cases. And it stands to reason that this is the case because if he cannot get over his own shortcomings and win the heart of a woman who is important to him, how can he expect to use himself as a shield to protect himself?
6. You can forget about your career and financial well-being
In our world, victory goes to the person who has the upper hand. Unscrupulous people who are unconcerned about the hopes and concerns of others offer the quickest and most direct path to advancement in a professional setting. They prioritize looking out for themselves and their health above all else. If you suffer from the syndrome of a nice guy, you can forget about having a successful career. Not only will you be unable to “sit down” anyone, but you won’t even be able to win a fair race against another individual. Why? As soon as he “cries[s]” to you about how he has dreamed of taking this place from the very moment, he joined the company and that it has become the goal of his life, and that’s it, you have already “floated” away from it all.
Because they can’t refuse to help anyone and they don’t have time to work on their own careers, nice guys are frequently stuck working the same job for a long time at a relatively low salary. This is because they can’t refuse to help others. A pitiful speech from the authorities, which finds understanding in a good guy’s heart, puts an end to attempts to knock out a large salary. And, of course, he can’t just get up and walk out the door to another company like that; if he does that, because, in this way, he will set up the team.
7. You are pushed into the background
Some people’s will is so strong that failing to live up to their requirements is comparable to dying. Everyone in the area knows they will lose favor with such a person if they are even one minute late, and they should try to avoid being late. Another thing is a nice guy who can be ignored to the last.
People are aware that you, who suffer from bright nice guy syndrome, will say nothing because you understand that others have their own concerns and issues to deal with. They know this because you have a good reputation. As a consequence of this, other people are not particularly concerned about meeting their commitments to you. They expect that you will understand them and end up doing so.