Manipulators and their tactics: how to understand that you are on their hook?

Psychopaths and narcissists are real people around you every day. They go to work in the same way, communicate in the company and look relatively prosperous. At the same time, nothing prevents them from manipulating you for their selfish purposes. Scientists have shown that about 4% of all executives have mental disorders.

How to understand that you are being manipulated

What 10 signs indicate a toxic person, and how to protect your psyche?


Manipulators often refer to a common strategy using three phrases: “You invented everything!”, “It didn’t happen!” and “Are you out of your mind?” They can destroy your self-confidence and sense of reality.

These phrases are used by those who want to justify their aggressive behaviour by any means. To withstand a blow, you need to be in reality consciously. Everything said by the manipulator, you can write down and tell your friends to help you fight back the offender.


Aggressors constantly shift the blame from themselves to their victims. Like, she is to blame for the current situation. They also disclaim any responsibility for their reactions. This is their defence mechanism and an attempt to justify their complicated nature and violent behaviour.

In no case should you feel sorry for the manipulators and feel empathy for them, otherwise they will continue to exploit you.


Imagine shaming a coworker for a rash decision that could have negative consequences for the firm. If you have a manipulator in front of you, he will immediately accuse you of calling him a “time bomb”. You just wanted to warn him, and he already reported you to the boss, saying that you consider the project a failure.

And the problem is not that the person did not understand you, but that he is used to generalizing. The aggressor will not listen to your arguments and delve into the nuances. He will just quickly draw conclusions that smear you. The way out is always to speak precisely and deny the findings of the manipulator.

Tactics of “moving the goal”

With its help, toxic people convince everyone around them that they had good reasons to be unhappy with you. You can prove your case as much as you like and do everything to satisfy the aggressor, but he will immediately raise the bar and demand even more from you.

The main thing is not to enter into such a game, to remain confident and remember that you have done everything in your power. Do not try to prove anything to the manipulator, as he will quickly make you doubt yourself.


The favourite trick of the aggressors is outright rudeness, but you do not have to endure it. If you are being humiliated or offended, stop contacting that person immediately.

Manipulators are not clever enough to use more intelligent ways of influence, so they resort to insults.

Change topic

To evade responsibility, aggressive people avoid talking about how they are to blame for all their failures. They can endlessly change the conversation and manipulate you.

To prevent this from happening, use the “jammed record” method – repeat the same thing all the time without succumbing to the tricks of the manipulator. During a conversation, you can say so: “I’m not talking about that now; let’s get back to the topic!”


If the manipulator fails to exert direct pressure on you, he will try to influence you through the environment. Blame you for all the troubles, making yourself a victim. Slander is a great way to destroy your reputation.

Aggressors take pleasure when they manage to ignite conflict between people. Please do not fall for provocations, behave as the abuser expects, and not let him succeed in his subversive activities.


If your acquaintance speaks aggressively about someone and devalues another person, most likely, you will suffer the same fate. Moreover, this tactic can be traced not only in professional but also in personal life. All you can do about it is to cut back on the toxic person and understand how this mechanism works.

Bad jokes

Manipulators do not hesitate to joke offensively. In such jerseys, there is a secret intention to prick, to hurt a living. Do you hear angry comments in your address? Are you offended, but you are assured that they were joking?

Be sure that you are facing an aggressor who will undoubtedly accuse you of a lack of sense of humour. Do not even think to justify his actions; otherwise, he will continue to humiliate and pin you.

Triangle tactics

Toxic people often pretend that the threat is not from them but other individuals. So they switch your attention, creating a “triangle”. Manipulators like to say that those and those speak badly about you. At the same time, “these” are also victims of the aggressors, but not your enemies. Make a knight’s move – enlist the support and help of a third party. It is much easier to fight back the manipulators together.

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