You have found your prince(ss) on the white horse and are going all out. Sharing your life with someone is about growing together and enjoying each other. Maybe you have been together for a while or only a few months. Either way, it’s always important to know if you and your lover are on the same page.
And we’re not talking about the same taste in music, but big topics, such as your future together. We help you on your way, thanks to these seven questions.
Because the sooner you ask, the better.
Align with your lover
Being aligned with your sweetheart is vital for your relationship and future. Knowing what your and your partner’s expectations are regarding your relationship status, sex, intimacy, and future makes a big difference in a relationship.
1. How do you think we are doing?
This question is important if you do not know where you stand or are unsure what the future holds for you. Try to keep this question as open as possible; otherwise, you risk getting a closed answer as “good”. By asking this question, you will find out how your lover sees your relationship.
2. What does a balanced relationship look like to you?
Some couples get into fights because the relationship can sometimes feel unfair. This can be avoided if you talk about how to have a balanced relationship from the start.
Sit down together and write down how you would like to divide chores, how much time you would like to spend together or apart, and how often you would enjoy going on dates. Once you’ve shared your priorities, you can see if you’re on the same page.
3. What should we do to improve our relationship?
This question may be scary to ask, but it will answer things in your relationship that may no longer work. If you tell your lover that you appreciate communicating more openly and honestly, you have already opened the door to work on that problem together.
If you think you’ve been running into a problem for a while and your partner hasn’t even noticed, it’s a sign that you’re not on the same page.
4. What are your goals for our relationship?
By directly asking your lover what his or her goals are for your relationship, you can already see if they match yours.
If your partner reacts in amazement to this question, you can already notice that there is no future in it. And that’s good to know too.
5. What is your idea of a healthy relationship?
It is important to discuss your idea of a healthy relationship. That way, you know if you’re on the same page. Maybe that’s very different from how you feel about it, and that’s good to know.
Even later in the relationship, such as when you move in together or have children, you can keep asking this question.
6. What problems do we need to solve?
It can be very annoying to argue about the same things, so it is important to talk about the recurring problems. Figuring out why a specific problem is a trigger point for both of you and finding out how you can get there will save you time, stress, and anxiety in your relationship.
And remember, if your partner isn’t open to these kinds of conversations, they may not be what you need in the long run.
7. What are you unwilling to compromise on?
By asking this question, you will find out what your lover’s values are. Write down things like your political and religious affiliations, your feelings about marriage or children, and then compare it with your spouse.
Keep in mind that differences in personality and preferences are not deal-breakers. Real deal breakers are the things your partner can’t negotiate. If you disagree on the big things, a long-term relationship may not be in it.