Kindness, care, and a sincere desire to help, alas, are not always appreciated. It is commendable if you are always ready to prove yourself and make another person’s life a little better, but it is worth considering whether this is justified. You don’t want to waste your time and energy.
It is worth helping people only in two cases: when you have all the necessary resources and are sure that they need your help. You are responsible for your choice, so it is important not to make a mistake here. It’s a shame when your good deeds are not only taken for granted but also bring you harm.
You can be bad at understanding people and in those situations that require or do not require your intervention. Therefore, we have collected several types of your acquaintances who should not be helped even if you are confident in your abilities and know that you can make their life better.
People who do not even try to cope with their problems themselves
There is this type of person: everything is always bad in their life. They have family or relationship problems, a low salary, their boss, a real tyrant, many debts, etc. They constantly complain about how bad they are, but, paradoxically, they don’t even try to change anything.
You must understand that these people do not need your help: by providing it, you will only save them from another reason to complain about their difficult existence. You can be the hero who pulls them out of toxic relationships or look for good jobs for them in your place of work, but eventually, everything will return to normal. And you will remain in a stupid position when your friend or acquaintance at the last moment abandons the scheduled interview or returns to the girl, despite your attempts to reason with him.
Live your life, and don’t try to play lifeguard. If a person does not want to change his life, no amount of persuasion, facts, and active actions on your part will help him. You will only waste your time and energy, and with a bonus for your efforts, you will also remain guilty.
People who believe that everyone owes them
There is nothing more offensive than helping an ungrateful person. You spend a lot of resources, and in the end, you don’t even get the usual “Thank you.” There is this type of people: they sacredly believe that everyone around them owes something. Relatives should give them money; friends should solve their problems; a partner should satisfy their desires and needs.
It is better not to get involved with such people: it is worth giving them help once, and they will demand it constantly. If you do not want someone to sit on your neck, avoid communicating with them. Or at least learn to refuse them requests that are clearly beyond the bounds of decency. Remember that you are not the only person who can help them. Don’t make yourself extreme.
People who use you
Indeed you had or have such acquaintances and friends who appeared in your life only when they needed something from you. Such people do not call or write to you to discuss the latest events in their life or make an appointment. Everything they say or do is geared towards gaining benefits.
They only get in touch when you can help them solve their problem, give some advice or recommendation, borrow money, etc. At the same time, if you refuse their request, they will merge almost immediately, referring to sudden affairs. Why would you waste time with a person from whom they cannot get anything?
Why do you need to keep such people near you: you are not of interest to them until you become useful in something. At the same time, if you ask them for a reciprocal favor or turn to them for help, they will not even try to repay you for your kindness somehow.
People who criticize your actions
There is a certain type of people who are always unhappy with everything. They are equally unhappy with your refusal of the request and your help. No matter how hard you try to improve their lives, they will always find something to cling to you for. Either you did not do your job well enough, or you didn’t bring them to the desired result, or you were 5 minutes late for the meeting. A person does not hesitate to criticize you, prove that you have behaved incorrectly, make you guilty that something is not going quite according to plan.
Often this happens because of the desire of this type of people to assert themselves at your expense. And over time, they do it very well. But you begin to feel guilty and complex, which greatly affects your self-esteem. Remember: if the person you are helping does not appreciate it but only finds more and more new reasons to reprimand you, do not waste your resources on him.
People who don’t respect you
You can spend a lot of time with a person, share your experiences with him and be ready to come to his aid at the first call. But, if at the same time he considers your problems to be petty, your ideas are stupid, your work is too easy, then a sad picture emerges: he does not see an equal person in you.
Whatever you do, and no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to change it. Your help and support provided will not make people of this type treat you and how you feel with respect. So it’s better to ask yourself if you are ready to spend so much time and energy on a person who does not value you.