How to understand that a person is pulling you to the bottom

Any communication between people, whether romantic, friendly, can both support you and pull you to the bottom. That’s why it’s so important to be able to understand the difference between healthy and toxic relationships. And that’s why so much has been written about the importance of your environment. Indeed, successful people gather around themselves the same as themselves — personalities with global goals, useful habits, strong-willed qualities, creative abilities. And losers prefer to stay in the circle of those who are used to feeling sorry for themselves, destroying their health, abandoning their principles.

Of course, there are exceptions everywhere, but in most cases, everything works that way. If you want to achieve something, communicate with those who have similar goals to yours. Look at your environment — does it correspond to you and your aspirations, does it support your endeavors, or, on the contrary, pulls you to the bottom?

In this article, we have collected several main signs that a person from your environment prevents you from achieving what you want and living a calm and happy life.

Constantly pushing your plans, dreams, and aspirations into the background because of a person

Both love and friendship require giving, you will not last long together on one communication. But there is a fine line that you should not cross if you want the relationship to remain healthy and not pull you down. If sometimes you have to push back your plans to support a loved one, that’s fine. But if you constantly give up your dreams and aspirations for him, then it’s worth thinking — why do you keep someone next to you who prevents you from growing and just living a full life?

Relationships should not be a burden and should not be built on hardships. Each of you has your own life, and you should put yourself first, not someone else. And, of course, you need to remember that any help should be in moderation. After all, adults and self-sufficient people can force themselves to get together and cope with their problems, accept help, put the advice they received into practice instead of exploiting other people over and over again, not wanting to act.

Do you often encounter unconstructive criticism?

There’s nothing worse than having a person next to you who doesn’t like you or what you’re doing. Especially if he constantly criticizes you, without hesitating in expressions and without even trying to somehow argue his point of view.

Unconstructive criticism from friends, relatives, and good acquaintances can greatly demotivate you. We always want to realize that people we trust support our decisions. If you are always criticized, and you realize that after talking to a person, you no longer want to put your plans into practice, think about why you keep in touch with him.

Do you notice that you are being used?

You can close your eyes for a long time to the fact that a loved one is using you. You do this because of your great love for him, respect, unwillingness to start an unpleasant conversation, fear of quarreling and stopping communicating, being misunderstood, etc. But pretending that nothing happened is a failed strategy. A person will continue to manipulate you and maintain communication only because of their selfish goals. And you, in turn, will only waste time, energy, money, and other resources, getting nothing in return.

You see that the person does not respect you

Any healthy relationship is built primarily on mutual respect. When a person does not respect you, you yourself begin to doubt whether you are worthy of it or not. So, first of all, there is no need to doubt it. Every person, as long as he does not harm others, deserves to be treated with respect. Even if you don’t have any special achievements or rare personal qualities that are encouraged by society, it doesn’t make you less worthy. You have to demand the same attitude to yourself as to everyone around you.

Secondly, if a person does not respect you, you will not have a healthy relationship. You need to understand that disrespect in your direction will manifest itself not only in words but also in actions. Why would you surround yourself with those who won’t come to the rescue, can let you down, won’t take what you say or do seriously?

You have a hard time keeping in touch with a person

Here long explanations will be superfluous — if you don’t have a good relationship with a person for a long time, or if you realize that it’s difficult for you to interact with him — he’s uninteresting, takes up too much of your time, imposes himself, doesn’t fulfill his promises, etc. — end the communication. Just imagine how much resources you spend on this person, and you could invest them in improving the quality of life, achieving your goals, or talking to those people with whom you feel comfortable and having fun.

You face constant nagging

There is such a type of people – they complain about anything, and sometimes even without it. They are not satisfied with the country in which they live, their work, their surroundings, they hate happy colleagues, relatives, holidays and, it seems, even themselves. Whatever happens to them, they will definitely find a reason to pour out their soul and get support from other people.

Run away from such acquaintances as far as possible — their tendency to whine may be transmitted to you from communicating with them.

Do you feel anxious and stressed when you communicate with a person?

If you are usually cheerful and positive, but when you are with a person, you suddenly start feeling anxious — this is a sign that something is wrong in your relationship. You need to figure out what exactly triggers you as soon as possible. Maybe you are stressed by a person’s behavior or his words, maybe you notice some oddities, but try not to attach importance to them. In any case, if communication with a person you consider close causes you a feeling of anxiety and only increases stress, you need to change something.

You see that the person does not accept the changes in you

Just imagine for a minute how many people have abandoned their dreams and aspirations for a better life just because their relatives and friends did not want to accept their changes. If a person who is in the company of drinkers says that he wants to quit this bad habit, everyone will start to dissuade him, and he will most likely think — what will connect me with my friends next? This is about how interaction with such people is built — you decide to change something in yourself or your life, and they seem to hint that they will not accept you new. And you face a difficult choice: to leave everything as it is, or to sacrifice communication with loved ones.