Being single is the best thing there is. For some, then… You think watching movies alone is boring; you prefer to do errands for two and crawl into your bed every night single and lonely. But wait a minute, something is wrong here. Being single shouldn’t feel like that at all.
Why are you lonely and single?
This sounds pretty depressing, and let’s face it, it is. Just remember that many people feel this way, so you are not alone. That also makes it a little less lonely. Perhaps everyone can laugh about it together and reduce that loneliness. The best way is to take a good look at the causes.
You don’t put yourself on the map
If you are looking for connection and connection with others, you will not get very far from lying on the couch without energy. If it’s your routine to go from work, to sports, to the grocery store home with tunnel vision, then you may want to consider broadening your horizons because that great love will not fall from the sky in front of you.
This doesn’t mean that you have to look for the love of your life on every street corner, but it can’t hurt to chat with others a little more often.
Joke with someone behind the cash register, meet people at work to chat, and ask for the number of someones you’re having fun with on a birthday.
In short, find your way to start the conversation confidently. Do not do this to very purposefully finding a new partner. Still, this way of making contact makes you more self-confident, gives you more energy, and perhaps offers opportunities to meet new people.
Your dating skills are not optimal
You may have a lot of dates or maybe not very often, but one thing is for sure: a second date is often not on the schedule. Reflect and determine whether that is the case for you because then you can do something about it.
Perhaps you talk too much yourself; then it is time to listen more. Maybe you’re trying too hard; next time, try to be a little more with yourself, or else someone won’t be able to get to know you.
Another possibility is that you go too fast and immediately want to meet three times a week, while others prefer to take the time to get to know each other, which makes you seem overwhelming and scares them off.
You are trying to form potential partners
There is nothing wrong with self-confidence. On the contrary, self-confidence makes a man very attractive. But some men think that they are God and have the right to control the lives of everyone around them, including that of a new potential mate.
That could be why those potential partners only remain potential, but this title is never converted to partner. Are you trying to mold your crushes into someone you want them to be instead of letting them be? Should they drop their hobbies or friends when it suits you? Do you decide which restaurant they should go to and who they can and cannot hang out with?
Then stop doing this because nobody likes this, and you are still single and lonely.
You are guided too much by the opinions of others
You will hear from everyone around you what the perfect picture should look like and how you can achieve it throughout your life. How often you can or cannot have discussions with your partner, what one should look like, what kind of job the other should have and what kind of lifestyle. It is good to look at situations from different perspectives, but be careful that you live by your standards and not live by others.
This means, if you like someone who might not exactly fit that picture perfect because they’re foreign, have an interesting dress style, aren’t posh enough, or just too posh, try not to listen too much to others about what they think.
Trust your feeling because it will tell you whether you see a future with this person or not. It would help if you ultimately wanted to build a life with that person, not your parents and not your friends either.
You never tackled problems from the past
Every time you start dating someone, old wounds start to sting slightly. Perhaps your ex was cheating or very manipulative, and you are very jealous or afraid to experience the same every time with a new potential partner. This can be a major barrier to re-establishing a healthy relationship.
Reflect and find out if it is indeed the case that every time it starts to get a bit serious, you see certain patterns coming back that are not completely healthy and not fun for the other person. Then it’s time to get serious about it.
You blame others
No one but you can determine what your life looks like. You can let others help you with that, but you have to do it all yourself in the end. And maybe you haven’t looked at it that way yet. So when you reflect on past relationships, it’s helpful not only to blame your ex for the breakup but also to look at how you could have handled things differently.
If you don’t, chances are you’ll run into the same bottlenecks again in future relationships. Perhaps you unconsciously push people away because you find it difficult to trust others. You may find it difficult to determine why relationships broke up. If you have the feeling that you have to deal with quite a few heavy things, it never hurts to call your doctor and ask for a meeting with a psychologist.
So what’s good to realize is that being single is supposed to be fun, and you should take advantage of that, do the things every single should do! Being single is less fun when you are constantly lonely.
Moreover, when you are happily single, you will meet that soulmate much faster than when you are unhappily languishing on your couch with your worries.