5 common mistakes many young couples make
Building relationships is not easy work. This kind of work takes time and a lot of effort from two partners at once. In some pairs, everything is not always harmonious, sweet, and smooth. There are also stumbling blocks, because of which quarrels often arise.
And if during the candy-bouquet period it seems that everything is just perfect, then as soon as you start living together, everyday problems one by one begin to spoil everything. And also differences in views and opinions. We are all different people, each of us has his own set of personal qualities, given by nature. Therefore, it is quite logical that sooner or later, the reason for quarrels and conflict situations can be precisely the difference in the characters of the partners.
Living together is a tricky thing. And here, if you really love, then you need to be prepared for the fact that you have to give in somewhere, somewhere to agree against your will, somewhere to adjust to each other. This so-called lapping period can last for about a goal. But if you manage to withstand, survive it with dignity and preserve your relationship, then you will have a long and happy life ahead of you. Having adjusted to each other, you will not notice how all the problems will go away, and you will still be surprised how it was possible to quarrel over such trifles.
They can be easily avoided if you know the little secrets and listen to the advice of psychologists.
Quarrels over money
Before entering into a serious relationship, partners, as a rule, do not think about financial matters. But as soon as they start living together, the topic of finance comes to the fore. After all, now you need to build a life by joint efforts, investing money for the well-being of your couple. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to inquire in advance about your partner’s ideas in terms of finances, savings, and monthly expenses.
In no case should you impose your point of view on this issue and certainly not take the lead in managing the family budget. It would help if you sat down at a round table of negotiations, discussed everything in detail, calculate the total income and, based on this, plan a monthly budget by allocating a certain amount for such compulsory expenses as buying food, paying utility bills, medical treatment, car maintenance. Divide the rest of the funds into small expenses of each partner. If you have any global purchases in your plans, it is worth allocating a monthly amount that you will put aside in the general piggy bank.
Having secrets
Admit it; you have your little secrets and feminine secrets that you did not tell your soul mate? It is clear that this is done for the benefit of the relationship. Each of us has his sin. But you must understand that a secret is also a lie, which can greatly undermine your partner’s trust in you if suddenly everything secret becomes a reality.
Revealing all cards and revealing the whole truth stops the fear of losing a partner. And suddenly, he does not understand, and if he does not forgive. But the solution in such a situation can be only one – to take courage and tell everything as it is. Nobody says it will be easy. Be prepared for a flurry of emotions and resentment. But if you sincerely regret your misdemeanor and ask for forgiveness, always promising to tell only the truth, then there is every chance that your partner will forgive you if, of course, he truly loves you. And if it turns around
Allowing friends to intervene in family issues
For many of us, friends play an important role in life. After all, they were there long before love came into your life. It is wrong to completely refuse to communicate with friends and limit their presence in your life, putting your relationship and partner at the forefront. But letting them interfere with your life with advice and morality is also not worth it.
It often happens that a friend may be hostile towards your partner, and therefore does not miss the opportunity to once again point out to you his weaknesses and shortcomings. This needs to be nipped in the bud if you want to preserve your relationship with your partner, and at the same time, not lose your girlfriend.
Even if you are associated with fond memories from childhood or adolescence, your significant other, with whom you plan to start a family, should still be in the first place for you. But this does not mean that now you have to spend all your time with him. After all, you can meet with friends on neutral territory in your free time without devoting them to your relationship, discussing another spat with a guy. They will naturally take your side. In addition, they do not know all the subtleties and details of your relationship,
Neglecting your needs, interests, and hobbies
First of all, each of us is a person with his interests, desires, dreams, and aspirations. And it is quite logical that some of the partners like to play football, while others are calmed by shopping. If you decide to be together and start a family, then it is not necessary that you have to have common hobbies. Of course, they can be, but everyone’s hobbies should not be neglected. In the end, this is a chance to learn something new for yourself, spend time with your partner, and share his interests.
You need to respect the needs of each of the participants in the relationship and try to limit each other in the desire to remake for yourself. No sacrifice is needed; learn to yield to a friend to a friend, giving freedom of action and the right to choose what each of you wants to do.
Surrendering to pressure from relatives
A happy relationship is one in which both partners feel free and comfortable. You do not need to let outside people into your world in the person of your parents, relatives, and loved ones, who now and then will climb into your union with their advice, moralizing, obsessive opinions, and constant questions like: “When is the wedding?”, “When will you buy an apartment? ” “ When are the children? ” “ Where are you going to have a rest? ”
To not experience constant pressure from the outside, you must initially dot all the i’s, indicating to each advisor his place. You don’t have to do it rudely in any case. Just say what you heard, took into account, but still do as you decide with your partner. In the end, you have your own life, and you want to live it according to your scenario and not as dictated to you from the outside.
